


In a Little While

by NeverAndAlways



Series: In a Little While [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Childbirth, Complete, Eventual Castiel/Dean Winchester, Eventual Romance, First Kiss, Gen, Homeless Castiel, Homelessness, Human Castiel, M/M, Male Lactation, Mpreg, Not Beta Read, Pregnant Castiel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-10
Updated: 2014-12-18
Packaged: 2018-02-16 17:56:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 22,936
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2279238
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NeverAndAlways/pseuds/NeverAndAlways
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Comments are always welcome; I'd love to hear what you think of the story so far! :3</p>
        </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

"That's the fourth time this week..."

Dean cranked his office window open and leaned on the sill. The street below was shiny-wet from last night's rain, and the air smelled wonderfully rich. But when he stuck his head out, the gutter dripped on him. He swore at it.

"Hey Dean, could you give me a hand with this?"

"Be right there."

Dean was a programmer: he wrote, debugged, and maintained software, and generally tinkered with computers. He was good at it, and he liked his job, even if it was a little tedious sometimes. He figured he'd written enough C and JavaScript code to last him several lifetimes, and drunk enough coffee to power a small city. Currently, he and his office-mate Charlie were writing the program for a new piece of software, but the code was tricky and it wasn't going well. Bugs were popping up at every turn. Most were small and relatively easy to deal with, but one in particular was really giving them trouble: it was big and it seemed to come out of nowhere, taking random chunks of code with it when it disappeared back into the ether. They called it the Demon Bug.

"What's up?" Dean plopped himself down at his desk. Charlie sat at the adjacent desk, scowling at her computer. Lines of code blinked on the screen.

"The Demon strikes again." she sighed.

"Uh-oh. What'd it do this time?"

"That's what I'm trying to figure out. The code won't even execute, so SOMETHING'S missing, I just can't tell what it is." she took a sip from her can of Redbull.

"Mind if I take a look?"

Charlie made a grand sweeping gesture toward the computer and scooted away. "Be my guest. I could use a demon hunter right about now." Dean rolled his chair over to her desk to peer at the screen. Silence descended on the little office. Charlie took another sip of energy drink and gazed absently across at the open window. At last she spoke again. "What's the fourth time this week?"

"Hm?" Dean barely glanced up from his work.

"When you opened the window. You said "that's the fourth time this week"."

"Oh. Uh..." Dean shook his head and looked away from the screen; trying to hold a conversation while he was programming was like trying to pat your head and rub your stomach at the same time. "There's a guy I keep seeing at the park across the street. I've seen him around town once or twice before, but he's been at that park every day this week."

"Huh." Charlie made a vague little noise. "What does he do?"

"I dunno. Just hangs out, I think. Maybe he's an art student or something." suddenly Dean punched triumphantly at the air. "Ah-HA! Gotcha." his fingers flew across the keyboard. Charlie scooted in to look over his shoulder.

"You got it??"

"Yeah. Sonofabitch took your printf statement; the whole format string is gone."

Charlie swore under her breath, although she still looked as triumphant as Dean. She extended her free hand. "Nice one, Buffy."

Dean brought their hands together in a resounding hi-five. "All in a day's work." he said loftily. Then he turned and spun away back to his own desk, and their day resumed.

-

The man in the park was there again the next day, and the day after that. When two months passed and he kept showing up, he became less of a mystery and more of an everyday thing. Dean even found that he missed the guy on the rare occasions that he didn't show up. He was extremely curious. He wanted a closer look, so he made a point of going by the park one day on his way to work. Sure enough, there was his mystery man, and he didn't disappoint: up close, he was pretty handsome. He had a round face with stubble along the jaw, tousled brown hair, an aqualine nose, an almost feminine mouth, and the prettiest, most ridiculously-blue eyes Dean had ever seen. From then on, the park became a part of Dean's daily route. The guy was almost always there; sometimes they waved to each other in passing, but they never spoke, and that was okay.

But then one day Dean slept through his alarm. He barrelled down the streets to his office, darting through crosswalks and weaving around bikes. Maybe if he got there before 10:00, he thought, his boss wouldn't kill him. Maybe. There was the park ahead of him; almost there. He swerved, narrowly avoiding a young woman with a stroller, and was turning to apologize mid-step when he suddenly collided with something large and very solid. He went down like a sack of doorknobs- and whatever he'd hit went down with him. Once his brain finally caught up with his body enough to tell that he was horizontal (and also that his head hurt), he gingerly sat up to see what had cushioned his fall. When he saw what it was he blushed from ears to chin and scrambled upright: it was the guy from the park. "Oh god. Oh my god- I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, are you okay??" Dean offered his hand and pulled the guy to his feet. "Are you okay?" he repeated. To his suprise, the guy chuckled. It was a pleasantly gravelly sound that made him blush even harder.

"I am unhurt." the guy said, brushing dirt off his trenchchoat- which, Dean noticed, was already a little grimy. His voice was just as deep and gravelly as his laugh. "A little flatter than before, but unhurt." he turned his blue eyes on Dean. "You seem to be bleeding."

Dean put a hand to his forehead; his fingers came away red and sticky. His eyes widened. "Son of a bitch- I mean, shoot. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to- I...I should stop talking." god, he was hopeless...his mouth was running faster than his brain. The guy waved a dismissive hand.

"No harm done. Here." he offered Dean a paper napkin from his pocket. Dean clamped it to his forehead. People streamed around them while they stood in silence. He'd been on dates that were less awkward.

"I should go." he said eventually.

"Yes." the guy agreed.

Dean stepped around him. "Again, I'm- I'm sorry." he walked a few steps, then turned around and extended his hand. "I'm Dean, by the way. Dean Winchester."

The guy hesitated for a moment before shaking his hand. "My name is Castiel."

~** ○□○  **~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments are always welcome; I'd love to hear what you think of the story so far! :3


	2. Chapter 2

Despite his still-bleeding head, Dean was practically floating when he got to his office (with three minutes to spare). Charlie took one look at him and laughed a little nervously.

"Do I want to know why you're bleeding?"

Dean sat down at his desk and smiled at her like the cat that ate the canary. Truth be told, he wasn't sure why he was smiling so much; he had, after all, just bowled over a stranger and hit his own head on the pavement. Maybe he had a concussion. "I met the guy from the park." he said smugly.

Charlie arched an eyebrow. "So did he hit you, or did you do that to yourself?" she indicated the cut on his forehead, which he was still dabbing at with the paper napkin. His smile faltered just a little.

"No, I did that to myself. I, uh...kinda ran into him."

"You ran into him? Literally?"

"...Yeah."

This time, Charlie let out a genuine laugh. "Smooth, Winchester. Really smooth."

"Shut up." Dean grumbled. His face was burning again; he could just imagine how his brother was going to react to his story. Charlie scooted closer to him, grinning cheekily. He gave her a half-hearted glare.

"So," she wheedled. "What's he liiike?"

"None of your damn business, that's what." he was only half-joking. As much as he liked her, Charlie was like a little sister sometimes; he already had a brother, he needed another sibling like a hole in his head. She playfully poked his knee and kept wheedling.

"Is he **cute**?"

"CHARLIE." Dean half-turned away toward his desk. He turned on his computer and sat waiting for it to boot up. He could just see Charlie in his peripheral vision. She had returned to her own desk, but was still smiling. Her grin widened when she met his gaze. "What?"

"You've got a cruuush." she gloated in a sing-song voice.

Nope. Game over. His brother had tried that voice on him many times, and he hadn't liked it then either. He hunkered down in his chair and growled. "I really hate you." His office-mate cackled with glee. He tried very hard to ignore her and concentrate on his work. But somewhere at the back of his mind, a calm little voice whispered that she was right- and the worst part was, he knew it was true. He did have a crush on Castiel. And not a small one, either.

Damn.

-

"Castiel? Hello??...It's Dean Winchester, can I talk to you?"

Dean felt exceedingly silly, standing in the park and yelling at empty air. Good thing Charlie wasn't there. He was holding two blueberry scones and two cups of coffee, one each for himself and Castiel. It was intended as an apology for running him over- but what was the point if he couldn't even find the guy? Seconds ticked away and took his enthusiasm with them. This was a bad idea; he was good with computers, not social skills. He turned to leave.

"Hello, Dean."

As if by magic, there was Castiel standing behind him. His trenchcoat was buttoned up against the spring drizzle, and he looked tired. Dean had to blink a few times before he remembered himself and put his hands behind his back. "Hi. I, uh, brought you something."

"Oh...?"

"Consider it my way of saying 'sorry'. For yesterday." he held out his offering and was pleased to see the hint of a smile on the guy's face. Castiel took the scone, but not the coffee. Dean nodded at it.

"The coffee's yours, too. I mean, if you want it."

"This is a very kind gesture, Dean. Thank you for the scone, but I'm afraid I have to say no to the rest."

"'S not poisoned, I promise." Dean chuckled, but Castiel shook his head.

"That's not what I meant. I can't drink coffee." the guy put a hand to his stomach and looked a little apologetic.

"...It's decaf." said Dean, as if that made any difference. Castiel smiled and shook his head again. Well, shit. Now what? Think, Dean, think! "Okay. No coffee, then. What d'you want instead? The coffee shop's just down the street, I can take you there and we can get you something else."

"I understand what you're trying to do, Dean, but it is really not necessary. I was not hurt; you don't need to apologize." Castiel put a hand on the cup and moved it politely back toward him. "Thank you." he said gently. Well, that was a pretty clear statement. Dean stood for a moment, feeling sheepish and very small indeed, before edging past Castiel. He forced a smile.

"Have a good one."

Castiel smiled back and gave him a polite wave, but even that didn't stop the dark cloud of thoughts that followed him out of the park. Who was he kidding? Castiel had only taken the scone to be polite, he couldn't care less. And what was he thinking anyway, doing that for a guy he barely even knew? Crush or not, it was a terrible idea; he'd just ruined whatever chance he had with the guy...

Needless to say, it was a rather downtrodden Dean who arrived at the office that day.

~**  ○◇○  **~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments are always welcome; I'd love to hear what you think of the story so far! :3


	3. Chapter 3

It would be another month before Dean approached Castiel again. Even with Charlie's encouragement (more like prodding, really) he just couldn't bring himself to do it. He walked by the park each day with his head down instead of waving to the guy; at work, he buried himself in page after page of code. Computers, he figured, were simpler than people. Writing programs and weeding out bugs was a lot easier than trying to talk to Castiel- and the more he immersed himself in his work, the less he thought about it.

He'd been right about his brother. By the time he got home on the day of his encounter with Castiel, his forehead was so bruised that Sam thought he'd been mugged. It was almost funny to see his little brother- all six feet of him -spring up off the couch in alarm. For such a big guy, Sam could fret like no one else. Dean had to actually grab him by the shoulders to shut him up so he could explain. But of course, after the explanation came the inevitable teasing...Sam was just as bad as Charlie. Dean finally went into his room and locked the door, and spent that evening listening to AC/DC. Loudly.

-

By the end of the month, Charlie had had enough. One morning when he came in- yet again -with a bad mood, she sat back and watched. Dean silently sat down at his desk, booted up his computer, took a few sips of coffee...she waited. And just as he put fingers to keyboard, she struck.

"Enough already, Dean."

Dean shot her a sidelong look. "Enough what?"

"THIS." Charlie flapped her hand at him in an all-encompassing gesture. "I've had enough of this raincloud following you around. When are you gonna stop moping and actually do something about the giant crush you've obviously got on this dude?"

There was a long, heavy silence while Dean stared Charlie down and she stared right back. "Correct me if I'm wrong," said Dean slowly, "but I don't think that's any of your business."

"It is if you're going to come in here like Oscar the Grouch every day! You know, you haven't exactly been pleasant to work with lately."

"Look, I made a move, and he didn't seem interested-"

Charlie threw up her hands. "Oh, for the love of- he said he doesn't drink coffee, I wouldn't call that a rejection!"

Dean did nothing but glare, so she continued. "Alright, here's what's gonna happen, Winchester: you're going to go down to the park and find this Castiel guy, and you're going to talk to him. Ask him out for lunch, whatever- just work things out." she paused to let her words sink in; Dean was silent. She sighed. "I'm not just saying this for my own sake, Dean. You've gotta resolve this, one way or another. And if he does reject you- which I seriously doubt -then at least you can move on." then she held up the office key with a very smug grin. "Oh, and by the way: I'll be locking the door when you go. You can't get back in 'till you talk to him."

"That's blackmail." Dean complained.

"Yep." she was unrepentant. "Now shoo."

-

And that was that: Dean was herded out of the office and down the stairs to the street. For a moment he considered just going back inside, but his office-mate didn't make idle threats. Might as, he thought with a sigh. She'd likely be keeping an eye out from the office window anyway, so there was no use just pretending he'd gone. He set off toward the park.

It took him a minute or two to find Castiel. The guy was sitting under a tree, watching pigeons and looking contemplative. He glanced up at Dean's approach, and his eyes softened.

"Hello, Dean."

"Hey. What's up?"

Castiel tilted his head to one side. "Space, technically." he mused, completely serious. "Although there's no gravity in outer space, and therefore no 'up' or 'down', so I suppose the correct answer would be 'the sky'."

Wait, what? "Um. Okay. I meant, how are you?"

"Oh. I am well enough." Castiel shrugged. "What are you doing here, Dean?"

Ah. And therein lies the problem. "I came to see you, actually. I have a question." he began. He took a deep breath; the words were all there, he just had to say them, but then Castiel stood up and those words all but fell out his ears in shock. Because Castiel's outfit- black slacks, white dress shirt, and tan trenchcoat- made one thing very clear: he was pregnant. Not enormously so, but enough that it was hard to miss. Dean gaped. How had he not noticed before? 'You know what this means,' whispered a voice at the back of his mind. 'if he's expecting, then he's got a boyfriend. Or a husband. And you haven't got a snowball's chance in hell.' His heart sank.

"Dean? Is something wrong?" Castiel's voice brought him back to reality.

"You're pregnant." the words came out before he could stop them. He wanted to just sink into the ground and disappear, but Castiel smiled- just a little, just an upward quirk at the corner of his mouth -and laid a hand on the bump.

"Yes. I am." he said quietly. "But I doubt that's why you came to see me. You said you had a question?"

Dean faltered. He'd completely forgotten. "I did...?" his mind was completely blank. Asking him out on a date was out of the question, but he had to say SOMETHING... "You know what, never mind. I- actually, I should really get back to work."

Castiel blinked in surprise. "Very well." he said uncertainly, and sat down again. "I'll see you tomorrow, then?"

"Sure, yeah."

-

Dean wasn't quite sure how he got back to the office. One minute he was hurrying out of the park, and the next he was haltingly explaining things to Charlie.

"So he's actually pregnant?"

"Yeah. He stood up and he was- y'know-" Dean traced the shape of Castiel's belly over his own. Then his hands fell to his sides in defeat. "So he's obviously not single."

"I guess not...I'm sorry, Dean."

"Me too."

"But you know, you could still try to just be friends with the guy. From what you've told me, he does seem to like you, in a general sort of way."

Dean raked a hand through his hair and turned away to his computer. "I dunno...I really don't wanna talk about it." with that, he fixed his eyes on the screen and didn't speak for the rest of the day.

~**  ○◇○  **~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you like the story, please leave a comment; I'd love to hear from you!


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: fairly graphic description of birth in this one!

Dean was true to his word: the next morning, and every morning after, he stopped at the park to check up on Castiel. He visited in the evenings, too, provided he didn't work too late, and they would sit and talk for a few minutes before Dean went home. It was a little awkward, and they kept each other more or less at arm's length, but it was better than nothing. The discovery of Cas' pregnancy was actually a tremendous relief for Dean (once the shock wore off); now that he knew the real reason for Castiel's odd behavior, he could at least try to get to know him a bit better.

But as Castiel's belly grew, so did Dean's suspicions. He realized that he didn't know where the guy went when he left the park, or if he even left at all. And then there were his clothes. Now, Dean knew firsthand how nice it could be to roll out of bed and just throw on yesterday's clothes for convenience's sake- but the same clothes every day for months? That was a bit much. He didn't bring it up, for fear of damaging their already-tentative friendship, but Dean was starting to wonder if Castiel was homeless. That was a scary thought. With a baby on the way, the guy would need a safe, stable place to stay, and a park in the middle of a city definitely wasn 't it. If there was a boyfriend or husband, though, why wasn't Castiel staying with him? Oh god, what if the boyfriend was abusive? That was an even worse thought. But, Dean had to remind himself, you don't even know if that's really the case. For all you know, he could be a lawyer or something. That didn't stop him from worrying, of course, but he managed to avoid bringing it up when he talked to Cas. Instead they talked about computers, about books they'd read and movies he'd seen. Castiel, it turned out, was quite well-read, although he hadn't seen many movies and was a little clueless about computers. So naturally, Dean felt it was his duty as a friend to tell him all about classics such as "Godzilla" and "Terminator" and "Star Wars", and even "Star Trek" (the TV series, of course- the movies were not to be spoken of. Especially that one with the whales). And Castiel told Dean about literary classics such as Lord of the Rings and Moby Dick, and his favorite Shakespearean works (The Twelfth Night and A Midsummer Night's Dream, respectively). He even laughed aloud at Dean not knowing that the books had come long before the "Lord of the Rings" movies. As for computers, Dean realized pretty quickly that that was a lost cause. As smart as Castiel seemed, his eyes kind of glazed over whenever Dean tried to explain how a motherboard worked or talk about C++ versus PYTHON code. So he gave up, and their conversations returned to movies and books. And Dean was happy- happier than he'd been in a long time. Charlie also seemed happier; at least she stopped lecturing him about being moody. Instead she prodded him for news about Cas, and for the most part, he found he was happy to oblige. And the Demon Bug was appearing less often, too. Before he knew it, spring had blown past and it was late summer. All in all, life was good.

And then Castiel disappeared. Dean stopped by the park one morning, and there was no sign of him. That’s odd, he thought, but he wasn’t terribly concerned. Not until evening came and he still hadn’t shown up. Then Dean really got worried. He enlisted Charlie and Sam’s help to search the blocks around the park, but they went home empty-handed a few hours later. Morning came again, still with no sign of Castiel; by evening, Dean was a nervous wreck. Several times he checked his phone, only to remind himself that Cas didn’t have one. Scenarios crowded in his head, each one worse than the last: what if Castiel had been attacked, or mugged? What if he’d been hit by a car? What if he really did have an abusive partner, and his partner had done something to him? Another day came and went. As if things weren't stressful enough already, the Demon Bug came back with a vengeance, along with a horde of other bugs. Dean and Charlie were forced to work late into the night weeding them out and re-compiling the code. His worries about Castiel hung in his mind the whole time. But when he finally gave up to go home, with fingers sore from typing and eyes that never wanted to see another line of code again, all he could think of was bed. He trudged down the two flights of stairs and shouldered open the door. The hot, humid day had given way to a blissfully cool night, and he gladly drank it in. But while the night air was refreshing, it didn’t change how tired he was, so he crossed the street and began the four-block trek back to his apartment.

Stopping at the park was now more force of habit than anything; Cas hadn’t been there for days, why should he be there now? His heart ached a little at the thought. On he went, past the coffee shop, a florist, and several restaurants, all dark and shuttered. Then there were the warehouses and office buildings. They weren’t much to look at, so he fixed his eyes on the pavement instead. Most of the warehouses were old and abandoned- no use to anyone but the pigeons. Or at least he thought so. Maybe his exhaustion was playing tricks on him, but he thought he heard…no, there it was again. Something was moaning. Maybe there was a cat? He looked around, trying to pinpoint the noise. There: the warehouse across the street. Feeling a little stupid, he made his way over to it and slipped in through a half-open door. The place was cluttered, but not half as filthy as he’d imagined; light from the street lamps filtering in through cracks and broken windows gave it a hazy sort of ambience. And there was the moaning again. It definitely sounded human, he realized, and whoever it was seemed to be in pain.

"Is anybody in here?” he called, not at all sure if he was doing the right thing. He’d seen enough horror movies to know that going into abandoned buildings at night was just asking for trouble. In fact, he was about to run back the way he came when there was an answering call from somewhere in the room.

“Who’s there?” the voice was rough and gravelly and familiar. Without really thinking, he headed toward it.

“Hello?” he called again, and this time the voice that answered was unmistakable.

“Dean…?”

There, tucked against the wall behind a huge stack of crates, was none other than Castiel. His trenchcoat had been taken off to serve as a cushion, his shirt was unbuttoned, and his already-large belly looked as round and taut as a balloon in the hazy light. He looked up with red-rimmed eyes as Dean crouched beside him and nearly fell over himself in the process.

"Are...are you okay??" Dean asked, although he knew what the answer would be. "Are you-" Cas nodded. Then he groaned and curled forward around his belly. Dean's hands darted out an effort to comfort him, and to his surprise, Cas leaned into the touch. "Hey, it's okay. Just breathe."

Cas drew a ragged breath, then another. Gradually he uncurled until he was eye-to-eye with Dean. "I'm sorry..." he breathed.

"Not a problem. Let's get you home. If you give me your boyfriend's phone number-"

"I can't."

"Why not...? Don't tell me he doesn't have a cellphone, either."

Cas shook his head. "It's not that. I can't give you the number because there is no number to give. I don't have a boyfriend. I have not been romantically involved with anyone in approximately nine months."

"...Oh." Dean was quiet for a moment as the reality of the situation sank in.

"Yes. 'Oh', indeed." Cas' breathing grew harsh again as another contraction took hold. Dean fumbled for his cellphone to call for an ambulance, but as luck would have it, his phone was dead. He swore.

"Oh, that's convenient." what was this, a movie? He stuffed the damn thing back in his pocket just as Cas let out another groan. "Okay. Not ideal, but we can do this. I think." never mind that he didn't have a clue how to deliver a baby. "How far apart are the...the things, the contractions?"

Cas didn't answer until some time after the current contraction had passed. "I don't know," he panted, "but they're close together. Very close."

"Well, I'm not goin' anywhere." Dean put on a smile. Cas answered with a shaky smile of his own. 

"Thank you, Dean. That means a lot to m-" the rest of the sentence was cut off by a pained noise rising from his throat. He shut his eyes and his body stiffened, first arching away from the pain, then folding inward. It seemed like an eternity before the tension left him and he slumped, panting, against Dean. Now they had a few moments of peace; Dean used them to shift a little so Cas would have something to lean against. The huge concrete room was silent and he sensed that it ought to stay that way, so he kept still and quiet until another contraction hit. When it did, Cas made a broken sort of noise and buried his face in Dean's shoulder. And despite the situation, Dean's heart skipped a beat. He'd imagined moments like this one many times over the past few months, although never with Cas actually being in labor...he gingerly put his arm around the guy and made what he hoped were comforting sounds.

Things got a lot more interesting after that. First the contractions sped up, and then there was a brief lull, during which Cas was able to doze off for a bit (he had a pretty impressive snore). He'd been asleep for almost twenty minutes when he suddenly jerked awake again. His eyes were wide and urgent, and they moved searchingly across Dean's face.

"Told you I wouldn't go anywhere." Dean smiled.

Before he could answer, Cas' face contorted into a grimace. "Dean-" he gasped. The name was so laced with so much fear and pain that it made Dean's blood run cold for a moment before instinct kicked in. He could see Cas tensing up, and he didn't need to ask what was happening- nor did he have time. Cas leaned back and fumbled to get his pants off, but his hands were clumsy and Dean gently moved them out of the way to help. Once the slacks and boxers were pulled off, it became even more obvious what was going on: as Cas moved his knees apart and his body went rigid, Dean could just barely see the baby's scalp at his opening, covered with something filmy and translucent. Then it disappeared again when he relaxed- but only for a moment.

"Oh god." Dean said almost involuntarily. He clapped a hand over his mouth.

"Need to push-!" Cas growled, bracing himself against the wall.

"Yeah, I- I can see that." Dean's heart was pounding. This was happening way too fast, he had no clue what he was doing but at this point it didn't matter- he had to do something. He positioned himself between Cas' legs and put his hands on the man's knees for support. Cas was shaking with the effort of trying not to push, clutching his trenchcoat in a white-knuckle grip.

"Need to push, need to push NOW-" he hissed.

"Go for it, I've got you." Dean tried to keep his own voice from shaking. The words had hardly left his mouth before Cas threw his head back, gritted his teeth, and bore down with a long, guttural groan. A gush of fluids darkened the trenchcoat beneath him- his water breaking, presumably -and made Dean feel a little sick in spite of himself. He looked away and took a few deep lungfuls of air while Cas tried to catch his own breath. When he looked back, the baby's head had just barely moved. He smiled and tried to give some encouragement, but Cas was too far gone to hear. He pushed again with a scream that echoed off the walls and probably scared the hell out of any passers-by. The baby's head slid forward another inch, and Cas' legs were shaking. Dean gave his knee a reassuring squeeze. "Shh. It's okay, you're doing so well." he said softly. "I can see the baby's head." Cas said nothing and gritted his teeth again, gearing up for the next contraction. His body beat him to it; it bore down hard, tearing a scream from his throat that made Dean wince. The baby's head descended further and Dean got a glimpse of a little wrinkled forehead before it retreated again. "Good, that's great! Try it again." The head moved forward and stayed. What Dean could see of it was purplish and wrinkly and it had hair, a dark, wet mop of it. The skin around it was stretched tight and Cas was letting out little pained whimpers on each breath. "It's almost out." Dean told him. This seemed to spur him into action. He bore down so hard that his face flushed red and his legs shook again, and his screams crescendoed into a yell as he slowly pushed the head out. "C'mon, c'mon..." Dean gingerly cradled it with one hand. Finally it slipped free, and he couldn't help the grin that spread across his face. "The head's out! Here, look:" he took Cas' hand and guided it down to touch the tiny face, the stubby nose and squeezed-shut eyes. Cas just barely had time to smile before another contraction hit him like a sneaker-wave and he had to push again. His hand was still resting on his baby's head as he bore down, guiding it out while his body pushed against it. He paused for the space of a few breaths and then bore down, paused, bore down again, paused, bore down; with each one, the baby inched further down and out. Then suddenly his breath hitched, his eyes flew wide open, and his child slithered messily out into the world, supported by both Dean's hands and his own. He gave a loud gasp and lifted the already-wriggling infant up to his chest.

"Oh," he breathed. The baby yowled. And Dean, although he'd done none of the work himself, had never been more proud.

-

With the birth safely over, Dean had left the warehouse just long enough to find a payphone and call for an ambulance. Cas and the baby were probably fine, but he figured it was better to be safe than sorry. He hurried back to them as soon as he'd made the call, shivering a little in the night air (his T-shirt was currently doing time as a swaddling blanket). They were just as he'd left them: Castiel was reclining awkwardly against a crate, holding the baby close and talking softly to him. When he looked up at Dean his eyes were exhausted, but there was also a light in them that hadn't been there before. He looked...well, he looked happy. Dean sat down beside him. To his surprise, Cas shuffled closer so that they were shoulder-to-shoulder. His heart flip-flopped. "I, um. I called for an ambulance. They'll be here in a few minutes." he managed to stutter. Cas nodded silently without taking his eyes off his son. Both men were quiet for a long moment before Dean spoke up again.

"I'm proud of you."

Cas looked up in confusion and cocked his head.

"I'm serious, look. Look what you did." Dean gestured to the baby, wrapped up in a PAC-MAN shirt and snuffling to himself. "You're amazing, dude." he said softly, almost like an afterthought. Cas smiled wearily and Dean's heart leapt again.

"Thank you, Dean. I'm...not sure what I would have done if you hadn't shown up."

"Yeah, well, I think you took a few years off my life when I came in here. I thought you were gonna be some crazy person with an axe."

Cas let out a weak laugh at this, more a puff of air than anything. "You watch too many horror movies."

"Yeah, probably." the baby gurgled and started to fuss; he held out his hands. "May I...?" Cas carefully handed him over, and Dean cradled him to his chest. "Hey, buddy." he whispered. "Welcome to the world." the baby ramped up his fussing into a full-on wail. "Aw, c'mon, I promise it's not that bad." distraught-sounding hiccups were added to the wailing then, so he gave the baby back to Cas, who rocked him and whispered to him until he stopped crying and pouted up at the world instead. Dean watched for a moment. A question had been burning in the back of his mind for a long while...maybe now was the time to ask it. He cleared his throat.

"...So. Where, uh...where are you gonna be staying, now that the baby's here?"

Castiel's face sort of shut down. For a moment, Dean thought he was going to cry. "I don't know."

"Don't you have any family you can stay with, or friends, or-"

"No." Cas said firmly. He paused as though searching for the right words. "My siblings are..." he made a scattering gesture with his free hand. "Most of them want very little to do with me. We no longer speak to our parents."

"So...what happened, if you don't mind me asking?"

"I was in college. Majoring in anthropology. And I was doing fairly well, but then I met a guy and went and got myself pregnant, and *pppbbtht*." he blew a raspberry, which startled the baby into crying again. He rocked him absently and continued. "Procreant men like myself aren't highly-regarded where I'm from. I lost my job as soon as the news got out, and then it all went downhill. And now, here I am." he smiled dryly at Dean. "How's that for a tragic backstory?"

Dean was momentarily speechless. His suspicions were definitely confirmed, but he hadn't expected a story like that. "What about friends?"

Cas shrugged and shook his head. "Not really."

"...You've got me."

Castiel's head snapped up and he locked eyes with Dean. Dean blinked under his bright-blue gaze, swallowed hard, and continued. "I mean, my brother Sam and I share an apartment. It's not much, but...if you want, you can stay with us for a while. Y'know, until you get back on your feet."

Cas sat in stunned silence. Before he could answer, footsteps echoed on the concrete and suddenly there were EMTs all around them, fussing over Cas and the baby. The next few minutes blurred together as the EMTs cut the baby's umbilical cord, took care of the afterbirth, checked Cas' vital signs, and put both of them onto a stretcher. Dean followed them out to the waiting ambulance. He caught Cas' eye as they loaded his stretcher inside, and the guy beamed at him. Dean grinned back. Neither one said a word, but they didn't need to: that smile was answer enough.

~**  ○◇○  **~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you like the story so far, please leave a comment- I'd love to hear from you!


	5. Chapter 5

"Sammy?"

Dean opened the door and snuck into the darkened apartment. It was 5:30 in the morning: almost five hours since he had found Castiel in the warehouse. He was still reeling from the whole experience, not to mention tired...but if **he** was tired, he could only imagine how Cas was feeling-the guy had just had a baby, and although he was relatively alert and cheerful, Dean could see the exhaustion in his eyes. They'd been taken by ambulance to the hospital where, thankfully, they spent only a few hours while Cas was examined and the baby was weighed and measured and given an Apgar test (both father and baby turned out to be just fine; the baby was healthy, if a bit on the small side). Then, once they were released, they caught a taxi and made their slow way back to the apartment. Cas had barely taken his eyes off his baby the whole time. Dean, on the other hand, was all but looking over his shoulder. The last time he actually talked to Sam was right before he left for work twenty-four hours ago. He had found a phone at the hospital, though, and left him a voicemail explaining what happened- a message that Sam had evidently not gotten, because he stormed out of his room almost as soon as the front door opened. He was in his pajamas, his hair was a rather spectacular mess, and he was furious.

"Well, look who's finally here." Sam sniffed. He folded his arms and regarded them coldly.

"I can explain-" Dean began.

"You'd better. Why don't you start by telling me where the hell you've been since last night?" Sam nodded to Castiel. "And you can tell me who that is, too."

"Alright. Alright." Dean held up his hands in a placating gesture. "Can we at least come inside first?" His brother hesitated, then stepped aside. Without quite knowing why, Dean hovered a protective arm around Castiel's shoulders to lead him into the apartment. The baby began to fuss, which immediately caught Sam's attention.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. There's a kid??"

Castiel spoke up. "Yes. The child is mine." he said solemnly. "But I assure you, Dean was...not involved."

Sam looked at Dean with raised eyebrows. Dean found himself blushing furiously; somehow he hadn't considered that people might think he and Cas were...well, anyway. He helped Cas over to the rather threadbare couch to sit down. When Cas was settled with the baby held tight in his arms, Dean sat down next to him. Sam advanced on them slowly with arms still folded.

"Well?"

Dean sighed. With all that had happened since last night, he hadn't had time to really think of an explanation. But he took a deep breath and opened his mouth and the words came tumbling out anyway. He told Sam everything: from colliding with Castiel in the park, the scones and coffee, to his disappearance, to finding him in the warehouse. All he left out was his crush. By the time he was done, Sam had sunk into a chair and was watching him with a look of tired suspicion. Then Dean glanced at Cas: the guy had dozed off, still cradling his baby, his chin fallen to his chest.

Sam cleared his throat pointedly. "So. That's...a really inspiring story, but it still doesn't explain why he's here."

Oh boy. Now comes the hard part. Dean lowered his voice. "He's homeless, Sammy. He has a newborn baby, and he's living in the park. You figure it out."

Sam dragged his hands through his already-messy hair. This only made it stick up even more. "Dean..." he sighed. "It's great that you wanna help this guy, but we've only got room for ourselves here. Can't he stay with his family or friends?"

"No." Dean said bluntly. "They won't even talk to him. The only 'family' he's really got hasn't even been alive for a whole day yet. And we can always just pull that air mattress out of storage; he can hole up in my room."

"Yeah, but for how long? Until the kid gets through grade school, high school, college?"

"Just until he can recover and get back on his feet." Sam gave him a long, doubtful stare. "Look, Sam, I haven't slept in twenty-four hours. I'm too tired to argue, and Cas is already falling asleep. Let's continue this after we've all gotten some shut-eye, okay?"

Sam was clearly just as tired. He conceded to Dean's request with a nod and stood up, his knees and back popping audibly. "Alright," he said groggily, "fine. He can stay the night, but I make no promises." with that he shuffled away to his room. Dean looked at Castiel; the guy was snoring faintly, and he looked so content that Dean was reluctant to bother him. So instead he nudged him with his words and his hands until Cas was laying stretched out on the couch. Then he took a (clean) laundry hamper and lined it with blankets to make a sort of crib. Getting the baby from Cas and into the laundry hamper/crib proved a bit more difficult: even in his sleep Cas held onto his son pretty tightly. Dean managed it with some careful maneuvering and reassurances, but then, once he had the newborn in his own arms, he found himself just standing there and staring. The kid was so light, just a little scrap of life, and he looked so fragile. And he seemed comfortable in Dean's arms. He didn't cry or even wake up, just snuffled and balled up his tiny fists and sort of melted into Dean. And just like that, Dean knew he was in way over his head. He quickly but very carefully laid the still-swaddled baby in his makeshift crib and went to get the extra blanket from his bed. After he spread the blanket over Cas, he stood back to look at him. The past months had done nothing to dampen the crush he still harbored- even now, with a baby in the picture...dammit, he was hooked on both of them. Definitely in over his head. On impulse, he leaned down and brushed a kiss to Cas' hair before going back to his room.

He went to sleep feeling decidedly strange.

-

Dean slept almost until noon. He would have slept longer, had it not been for the sunlight coming through his window...the ambulance outside didn't help, either. He rolled (okay, flopped) out of bed, still tired but feeling significantly less zombie-like, and shuffled out of the room. When he got to the main room and saw the couch and laundry hamper empty, his first thought was that Sam had actually kicked Castiel out, and anger surged up in his chest. He was ready to give his brother an earful- until he turned the corner.

There was Sam, sitting at the table across from Cas and the baby. He glanced up at Dean.

"'Morning." he said briskly. He clearly hadn't forgiven Dean just yet.

"Not morning anymore." Dean yawned. One hand reached for the pot of coffee while the other gestured to Sam and Cas. "Makin' friends already?"

Dean could practically hear him rolling his eyes. He poured his coffee (with another monstrous yawn) and ambled over to the table.

"Good morning, Dean." said Castiel in his gravelly voice. He still looked tired, understandably, but the light Dean had seen in his eyes was still there, too.

"Hey. How you feelin'?" Dean took a sip of his coffee.

"I'm sore. And very tired. But my baby is healthy and we are both safe, so..." he finished this sentence with a shrug and a smile, and Dean smiled back. Suddenly the baby interrupted with a wobbly cry, which became louder when his father didn't respond quickly enough for him. He began squirming around in an investigative sort of way; his tiny mouth grabbed blindly at Cas' finger brushing against his cheek.

"Looks like you've got a hungry customer." Dean chuckled.

"Indeed." Cas stood and headed for the couch, lifting his T-shirt as he went (his dress shirt, slacks, and trenchcoat were a lost cause and had been disposed of at the hospital). He sat down with a squeak of springs and cradled the baby against his swollen chest. Almost immediately, the infant latched on and started nursing eagerly. It must have felt strange, if Cas' face was any indication; he winced a few times before relaxing into it. Dean, meanwhile, took advantage of the quiet and turned to his brother.

"...So." he said meaningfully.

Sam leaned forward and propped his elbows on the table. "Don't think I've changed my mind that quickly, Dean. This apartment was made for two people, not two people plus some guy and his baby."

"He's not moving in with us permanently. Like I said, he just needs a place to stay 'till he can get back on his feet."

"And how long is that gonna be?"

Cas spoke up from across the room. His voice was quiet, but it carried. "In most places, I believe it's considered rude to talk about someone who's still in the room." he waited until he had both Sam and Dean's attention before continuing. "I don't wish to be a burden to either of you. I can stay elsewhere, if need be. My brother Gabriel and I are on fairly good terms; if we can contact him, I could stay with-"

Dean waved him into silence. "You're not a burden, dude. I wouldn't have suggested that you stay with us if I didn't think it'd work out. Don't even worry about it." Cas thought for a few moments while his baby continued to nurse.

"I should still attempt to contact him, or at least some of my friends. To let them know I am alive and well if nothing else." he pondered aloud. "They may be able to help me 'get back on my feet', as you put it." the baby, having decided his meal was over, started to fuss again. Cas held him away from his chest long enough to drop his T-shirt back into place, then settled the infant on his shoulder and started to awkwardly rub his tiny back. "Dean, may I-" a loud hiccup from the baby interrupted him. "Would you be willing to sacrifice a dishcloth? Or an old shirt?" he nodded toward the baby by way of explanation, but too late: the little guy let out an impressively loud burp and spat up all over Cas' shoulder. "...Perhaps just a shirt." he made a face as he repositioned his son in his arms and used the hem of the T-shirt to wipe the newborn's mouth.

The phone rang while Dean was looking for a clean shirt. Sam answered it, and he didn't pay much attention until he heard the name 'Bradbury'. Then his heart dropped into his stomach. Shit, he'd forgotten all about Charlie, she must be furious! Sure enough, when he turned around, there was Sam standing in the doorway, holding the phone and wearing the extremely smug look of someone who's about to see their sibling get in trouble. "It's for you." Sam grinned.

Dean took the phone along with a deep breath that did nothing to calm him. "Hey Charlie." he said, hoping he sounded casual. "What's up?"

"That's a good question." said Charlie's voice on the other end. "And here's a question for you: where are you right now, and where should you be right now?"

"That's two questions."

"Thank you, Captain Obvious. Would you just answer the question, please? I've been trying to call your cellphone all morning." there was an edge of worry in her voice that didn't go unnoticed. But there was also irritation, a lot of it, which meant Dean had to tread carefully.

"I'm, uh...I'm at home." he began. "BUT, I have a very good reason."

"I really hope so, because this program has to be finished by the end of the month and we're only halfway done."

"I know, I know, I'm sorry." Dean paced around his room as he talked; no way was he going to give Sam the satisfaction of seeing him flustered.

"Well, what's the reason?"

"Well, last night..." wait, was it last night? Being awake for more than 24 hours does weird things to your sense of time. "Long story short, I found Castiel."

There was a faint gasp of surprise from Charlie. "Is he okay?"

"He is now." Dean let out a shaky laugh. "I think I need to add 'midwife' to my resume, though."

"Ah." said Charlie after a few seconds.

"Yeah."

"Well, that's...that's a good reason."

Another pause. This was the weirdest and most uncomfortable conversation he'd ever had with Charlie. With anyone, actually.

"So what's gonna happen now?"

"He and the kid spent the night at the apartment; I'm trying to convince Sam to let him stay with us for a while. I'll try and make it in to work by tomorrow, but-"

"You know what, I can survive on my own for a few days, Dean. You just sort things out. If push comes to shove, I can always ask Garth to help with de-bugging."

Dean heaved a sigh. "You're awesome, Charlie."

"Yeah, I know. Humble, too. Tell Castiel 'congrats' for me, okay?"

"Will do. See ya."

The sight that greeted Dean when he returned to the main room was a surprise, albeit a welcome one. Sam was on the couch, holding the baby as though he'd been around kids all his life, and he and Cas were just talking. Two tiny hands reached unsteadily up toward Sam's face; he turned briefly away from Cas and pretended to eat them with a great deal of OM NOM NOM-ing. Cas' mouth quirked upward in a smile.

"And?" Sam asked eagerly once he noticed Dean.

"And, none of your beeswax." it was Dean's turn to be smug: two could play at that game. He turned to Cas. "That was my office-mate, Charlie. She sends her congratulations."

Cas nodded his appreciation as Dean squeezed himself in at the end of the couch.

"Looks like you two have been talking things out." Dean smiled.

"We have." said Cas. "Your brother has agreed to help me find Gabriel."

"Has he?" Dean leaned forward to look at Sam with raised eyebrows. "Does this mean you've changed your mind?"

His brother looked both annoyed and a little bit sheepish. But at length, he cracked a small smile. "Yeah." he said at last. "Yeah, I guess it does."

~**  ○◇○  **~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you like the story so far, please leave a comment; I'd love to hear from you!


	6. Chapter 6

As it turned out, that first day more or less set the stage for the next four weeks. For something that could only eat, sleep, cry, and fill up diapers, Castiel's baby managed to take up most of their time. He ruled with a chubby little iron hand. Sleep was no longer something that happened at night- now it really only happened between feedings and diaper changes. Dean had pulled plenty of all-nighters in his years as a programmer, but this gave him a whole new perspective on them. He took as much time off as he could so Cas didn't have to be alone with the baby all day (Sam was usually in class), although this meant he had to do twice as much at work. At home, though, he ended up not doing much at all: Cas was a little standoffish and very protective. He hardly ever let the baby out of his sight and was reluctant to let anyone else hold him. So Dean just talked. If nothing else, it meant fewer awkward silences, but more than that, he hoped that maybe the guy would open up a little. Sure, they'd talked quite a bit during the last three months, but only about movies and books and such; when you got right down to it, they barely knew anything about each other. Dean made no assumptions about Cas returning his feelings (besides, he was pretty much clueless when it came to things like this. There was a reason he badn't been on a date in years)...or at least that's what he kept telling himself. He still really liked Castiel. A lot. Honestly, if there was a chance that the guy **did** return his feelings, he'd jump at it. But the baby came first, and he knew that. So for the time being, he had to put those feelings aside and do what was required of him, even if that meant changing diapers.

-

Sam kept up his part of the bargain, too. When he wasn't in class or studying, he tried to help Cas track down his brother. It was amazing how many Novaks there seemed to be in and around South Dakota (they were a large family, Castiel explained darkly). And almost all of them seemed to have old-fashioned, unusual names. They found an Anna, a Raphael, Zachariah, Uriel, Gadreel, Balthazar, Samandriel...but no Gabriel, at least not yet. Castiel said they'd definitely know when they found him; that sounded a little ominous.

And speaking of names, the baby had finally gotten one! In the midst of their sibling-searching, Castiel was reminded of an old family name that he liked: Matteo. And so, Matteo it was. It seemed to fit. Baby Matteo was already growing like a weed. By the end of the month, he'd grown so much that he no longer fit into most of the onesies they'd bought (thrift stores had been a godsend, and evidently would be again). And, miraculously, he began to fall into a schedule. No more feedings and diaper changes at all hours; at least not as much. Sleeping through the night would come later (if he and his father even stuck around that long).

-

And then there was Castiel himself. Even as the remnants of his baby belly faded, he was still reticent and moody. It made being around him a bit of a challenge at times; Sam and Dean were never quite sure what kind of mood they'd find him in. Mostly he kept to himself and spent much of his days resting or taking care of Matteo; in the afternoons, he particularly loved to stretch out on the couch with the baby on his stomach and soak up the autumn sunlight. But then there were times when Sam would find him staring blankly out the window, or Dean would wake up to see him just standing in the main room and crying with Matteo in his arms. At other times, he got angry. Angry over small things, or for no obvious reason. He wouldn't let them get close to him during those times, although goodness knows Dean tried- and it got him on the wrong end of Cas' temper on one occasion.

That occasion was an afternoon about a month after Cas first arrived. Matteo had been crying all morning, and **would. not. stop.** Sam was in class, so that left Dean alone with the fussy baby and its equally-stressed parent. By now he knew that Cas preferred to be left alone when it came to dealing with Matteo, but when an hour passed and the kid was still going strong, he figured he'd better do something before the poor guy lost his mind. So he followed the crying to his room. Castiel looked just about done for, and no wonder: at close range, Matteo was LOUD. Dean almost had to shout to make himself heard.

"Wow, he's got quite a pair of lungs...!" he said. Cas nodded grimly. "Want me to take him?"

"I'm fine."

Really? Having an inconsolable baby seemed to be the exact opposite of 'fine'. "Dude, you're not doing Matteo or yourself any favors by being so exhausted. Why don't you let me take care of him for a while, and you can go rest. I promise I won't let anything exciting happen; maybe I can even get him to calm down a little."

"I appreciate your offer, but I have things under control."

"Do you? Cas, you haven't gotten a full night's sleep all week, none of us have. If you-"

"Dean, **please** -"

"-maybe just-"

" **ENOUGH, Dean! You don't always have to help- I said _no_ , now leave me alone!!**"

All Dean could do was stare. Cas hadn't raised his voice at all since the birth, until now. He seemed just as taken aback by his outburst: his dark, stony look quickly gave way to surprise and embarrassment, and the two men stood and just looked at each other for several seconds. And Matteo was still crying. Dean's face burned. He'd crossed the line, big-time; he opened his mouth- maybe to apologize, maybe to argue, he didn't really know, but either way, no sound came out. So instead he retreated without a word. Then the front door slammed moments later, and he was gone. 

 ~**  ○◇○  **~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this chapter is kind of short; school has been taking up a lot of my time. I'll try to update again soon, with a longer chapter!
> 
> -
> 
> If you like the story so far, please leave a comment- I'd love to hear from you!


	7. Chapter 7

The apartment was quiet when Sam got home from class later that afternoon. But it seemed wrong somehow: it was a bruised sort of quiet, like the kind you get after a fight. He set his bag down by the door and called his brother's name. Nothing. The silence was kind of creepy; had this been a movie, he might expect to see a ghost or something right about now. Dean usually came out of his room to say 'hi' when Sam came home. The resounding silence meant he was either asleep or at work, and one of those was very unlikely...and where was Castiel? This called for an investigation. A glance through the kitchen to the dining room revealed nothing, so that left only Dean's room. And sure enough, that's where Castiel was- reclining on his air mattress bed, playing with Matteo in a rather preoccupied way. Sam knocked lightly on the doorframe and he glanced up.

"Hello." Castiel said, then turned his attention back to his baby.

"Hey. Where's Dean?"

Castiel shrugged. "I thought you might know."

Sam didn't know whether to be worried or annoyed. Dean sometimes took off when he was upset, but at a time like this it was a stupid thing to do. "What do you mean?"

"He left four hours ago. He didn't say where he was going."

Dammit, Dean. "What happened?" Sam folded up his long legs and sat on the edge of the air mattress. Castiel squinted at him.

"I don't understand."

"Dean only does this when something's really bothering him. Any idea what it might be?"

"No." said Castiel quickly. Then he hesitated. "...Yes."

"I don't suppose you'd care to clarify that a little."

Castiel didn't meet Sam's gaze. "Matteo was crying for almost two hours this morning. Dean offered to help, but I was stressed and...I may have yelled at him."

"Ah." well, that would do it.

"I hope I haven't offended him. I didn't intend to be so harsh, it-"

"Nah, it's okay." Sam almost laughed at the guy's sudden adamance; it was good to see him come out of his shell a little. "I don't think he's offended. This is just...it's what he does sometimes when he doesn't know how to deal with something. He'll be back, just give him a little while." Castiel didn't look convinced, so Sam took his phone out of his pocket. "I can give him a call if you want. He might not answer, but I can leave him a voicemail."

"Very well." Castiel agreed. Sam went away to the other room; there were a few seconds of silence, then Sam's hushed voice saying something Castiel couldn't quite hear. Sam returned looking a little annoyed.

"Well he wouldn't say where he is, but he promised he'd be back by this evening, so..." Sam trailed off and stuffed his phone in his pocket before sitting down again. "How's the little one doin'?" he tickled Matteo's dark curls with one big hand. The baby squirmed and gurgled at him.

"He finally wore himself out fifteen minutes after your brother left. But he slept for a while after that, and he seems fine now." Matteo, hearing his dad's voice, squirmed even more and sputtered his delight. Both men smiled.

"He's a cute kid." Sam remarked. Almost to himself, he added, "You know, Dean's really gonna miss you guys when you move out. I mean, I'm going to miss you too, but...Dean really likes you."

Castiel made a disbelieving noise. "I'm serious." Sam insisted. "He's not that great at showing it, but he likes you a lot."

Matteo filled the following silence by letting out a whine so shrill it would put a teakettle to shame. Castiel leaned forward to kiss his tiny forehead before he pointedly changed the subject. "Speaking of brothers, have you had any success in locating Gabriel?"

Either Sam's words had gone right over his head, or he'd chosen not to hear them at all. Sam decided not to pursue it. "Not yet," he said, "but I did talk to one of my instructors, and she told me a way we can narrow our search a little. Gimme a moment and I'll show you on my laptop."

Once Sam was out of sight, Castiel allowed himself a small smile.

-

Castiel and Sam were so focused on their search that neither one noticed when, several hours later, the front door creaked open and shut. Footsteps snuck down the hall and paused at the bedroom door. Then a small voice said, "I'm home."

The researchers looked up from their computer screen. "Hey Dean." said Sam. Castiel said nothing; Sam looked from him to Dean and back. "I'm gonna- I'll just...yeah." he stood up with his laptop and quickly ushered himself out of the room, leaving his brother and Castiel to stare uncomfortably.

"You could have at least said something instead of disappearing." Cas said flatly.

"I know, I know. But I pissed you off, and I didn't want to make things worse. It just...I'm sorry."

"Where did you go, anyway?"

"Nowhere." Dean looked for all the world like a guilty kid. "Cas, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to worry you, I just-"

"'Didn't know how to deal'?"

Dean arched an eyebrow. "Been talking to Sam again, huh?"

"He explained things, yes."

Another awkward pause followed. Dean didn't seem to know what to do with his hands. He put them in his pockets, took them out again, laced his fingers together, and then folded his arms in front of his chest. Matteo sputtered and tried to get his own hand into his mouth.

"Look." said Dean, leaning on the doorframe and trying to look casual. "I know this was a shitty thing to do; I shouldn't have left you and the baby alone like that. I'd understand if you're still mad, but...I wanna make it up to you if I can." Cas didn't seem to object, so he cleared his throat and continued. "So, dinner sometime this week, maybe...?"

Cas' smile was just a little sarcastic. "In case you haven't noticed, I have a baby to take care of."

"So we can get take-out. Not the fanciest dinner ever, but it's better than me trying to cook."

"Hear, hear." said Sam from the other room. Dean glowered in his direction.

"Ignoring the peanut gallery out there...do we have a date?" Cas' eyebrows shot up. Dean realized what he'd said and backpedaled frantically. "I mean, not a **date** , but- y'know-"

Before he could get any further, though, there was a yell for Cas from the other room. Cas leapt up and disappeared. Dean followed, trying to squash his sudden resentment, and found him huddled with Sam in front of the laptop; Sam looked so proud, you would think he'd found El Dorado. "His name's Gabriel, right?" he asked.

"Gabriel Novak, yes." Cas absently bounced Matteo in his arms.

"Voila." Sam turned the laptop toward Cas. "Garden of Eden Confectionery, owned by Gabriel Novak." Castiel smiled then, and damned if it didn't light up the whole room. In a cartoon world, there might've been little pink hearts floating around Dean's head. He watched as his brother and Cas exchanged a triumphant high-five. "I'll see if I can get an email address or phone number for him." said Sam.

"Let me know what you find." Cas started to wander back toward the bedroom, but Dean caught him halfway.

"So, uh...dinner?" he fully expected Cas to say no. But to his surprise- and delight -the guy smiled again, and nodded.

"Yes."

 ~**  ○◇○  **~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you like the story so far, please leave a comment- I'd love to hear from you!


	8. Chapter 8

"'Day is done, gone the sun, from the...' uh...from the...oh, **please**  go to sleep...!"

Castiel gave up his pacing to sit heavily down on the couch. Matteo looked up at him with big blue eyes that almost mirrored his own, and a face that threatened to break into tears at any moment. He smoothed down a tuft of the baby's dark brown hair- it was growing fast, and each strand seemed to have a mind of its own -and sighed. "Please, Matteo, this doesn't have to be so difficult." trying to reason with a one-month-old baby was pretty much useless, he knew, but at this point he was willing to try anything. "Don't look at me like that. I know you're tired. You've had your dinner and now I need to have mine, and I cannot hold you and eat at the same time." he stood up as he spoke and started pacing again, and his voice rose back into the tune of the lullaby as he spoke. "Sam is studying at the library, Dean will be back with dinner very soon, and I love you but I do not want to spend the evening walking around the apartment with you so please just go to sleep, Matteo..." on and on he went, back and forth through the living room, alternately bouncing and rocking his son in his arms and singing increasingly nonsensical words. And Matteo was wide-awake. Listening to his dad sing seemed far more interesting than sleep; his blue eyes stared contentedly up at Castiel's face and though he yawned once or twice, they remained stubbornly open. Cas was just about ready to give up by the time he heard the jangling of keys at the door.

"Room service!" Dean's deep voice filled the entryway. He appeared in the dining room with a clomping of boots and the tantalizing smell of dinner. Two bags rustled on the table- "Courtesy of the cafe down the block," according to Dean. "I wasn't sure what you'd like; I hope you're okay with macaroni and cheese." Cas made his way into the dining room, having positioned Matteo on his shoulder.

"That sounds excellent, Dean. Thank you." Matteo seemed to realize that he was no longer the center of attention; he started to wiggle and fuss, and by the time his father transferred him back to his arms he was wailing like the world had ended. Cas rocked him almost frantically, making little shushing noises that of course did nothing to soothe him. Dean's head peeked out of the kitchen where he was bustling around.

"You okay?"

"Do I look okay?" Cas hissed. "I've been trying to get him to sleep since you left, and all he does is fuss."

"Have you tried The Beatles?"

Cas squinted at him with half confusion, half exasperation. "What??"

"The Beatles. Y'know- John, Paul, George, Ringo, Abbey Road?"

"Yes, I know who they are- what about them?"

"Apparently they did wonders for me an' Sammy when we were little. Might work for him, too."

Well, it was worth a try. Castiel cleared his throat and started a shaky rendition of 'Michelle', but he could barely remember the lyrics.

"Here-" Dean came out of the kitchen and opened up his laptop. He tapped a few keys and moments later, Paul McCartney's voice was flowing from the speakers.

'Day after day, alone on a hill, the man with the foolish grin is keeping perfectly still...' Cas began to sway gently from side to side, the dance of tired parents everywhere. The song brought back memories from deep in his past; he couldn't help but smile a little. Dean turned away from the laptop and smiled, too, but lopsidedly.

"Didn't realize you liked The Beatles so much."

"Not me; Anna always did..." said Cas quietly.

"Anna?"

"My sister. She loved The Beatles."

"She had good taste." Dean grinned.

"Indeed. I think you would have liked her."

'...sees the sun going down, and the eyes in his head, see the world spinning rouuuund...' Suddenly Matteo gave an enormous, snuffling yawn. Dean laughed. "See? Works like a charm." Castiel smiled his relief and mouthed a "thank you" to Dean. Then he made a few more circuits of the living room before changing course to the bedroom. When he came tiptoeing back a minute later, his arms were empty, and he made a beeline for the table. And so, with Paul McCartney still singing in the background, he and Dean sat down to dinner (they would realize many months down the road that this was, in a way, their first date, although neither one would admit it).

It was nice, Castiel thought, talking to another adult without the baby around. He loved his son, but there wasn't much to the kid besides diapers and naps and feedings. Somehow his parents had raised six children without going crazy. He wondered how they managed it. One child was difficult enough- how was he going to manage it, especially on his own? As kind as Dean and his brother had been, Cas knew his time there was limited; he would have to find someplace else to stay before long. Maybe he could stay with Gabriel for a while...but that was assuming Gabriel would accept him and the baby.

"...Hey. Earth to Castiel, are you there?"

A little too late, Cas remembered the fork full of pasta dangling halfway to his mouth. He dropped it.

"Spaced out a little?" Dean chuckled, but not unkindly.

"So it would seem. I apologize." Cas retrieved his fork. "Were you saying something?"

"I asked if you've talked to your brother yet."

"I have, but only briefly. He's coming to visit later this week."

"Hey, that's awesome!"

Cas took a bite of macaroni and cheese and said nothing.

"...You don't seem too enthusiastic about it."

"I have not seen most of my siblings since I was eighteen years old, Dean. And it's been a year-and-a-half since I last saw Gabriel."

"Well, sometimes people just lose contact."

"And sometimes it's deliberate."

Ah. Well, that was a pretty clear statement. Dean scooped up a fork full of his dinner (spaghetti with meatballs) and lapsed into silence. In the background, "The Fool on the Hill" had changed into "Penny Lane". He'd always thought that song was a little weird, but he couldn't pinpoint why...anyway. Dean cleared his throat politely. "So what happened with you and your siblings...?"

Cas chewed thoughtfully for a minute before answering. "Let's just say that you and Sam are lucky to have such a good relationship."

"Oh?"

"I have five siblings: Michael, Gabriel, Balthazar, Anna, and Lucifer." he counted them off on his fingers as he spoke. "I am the youngest-"

"Those are some fancy names."

"If you knew my parents, it would not be surprising." he scoffed. "My siblings and I never got along when we were growing up. We were always at odds over something."

"I thought you said you and Gabriel were close."

"We are, for the most part. But we had our moments. Michael and Lucifer were the worst; they were constantly at each other's throats."

"What about your parents?"

Cas shrugged. "They tried. Sort of. I'm not sure they really knew what to do with us. We all moved out as soon as we could- well, almost all of us. I imagine Michael is still living with them. Anyway, Lucifer was the first to leave, then Gabriel, then Balthazar, and lastly me and Anna. Most of us never bothered to keep in touch with each other, and certainly not with our parents. Gabriel and I are sort of the exception to the rule because we still see each other occasionally...oh no." Matteo was crying again. It was a soft, uncertain cry, just audible over the chorus of "Penny Lane", but it promised to get louder if ignored. "Excuse me." Cas got up and padded away to the bedroom. Matteo's crying dwindled into silence again, and then Cas reappeared. "Just couldn't let daddy have a quiet dinner with his friend, hm?" he was saying to Matteo as he gently bounced him. He sat down with the grumpy infant in his arms and turned to Dean. "What were we talking about...?"

"Your family, I think."

"Mm."

"That's one hell of a backstory, Cas. Can't blame you for wanting to get away."

Cas cracked a wry smile. "Yes. Part of me hopes that Matteo will never have to meet his aunt and uncles." he bent down to kiss the baby's forehead; Matteo made a grab for his nose and missed. Dean smiled and headed for the kitchen with his plate, picking up Cas' on the way.

"Thank you, Dean."

"No problem."

Dean stacked the plates in the sink as quietly as he could. "We, uh...we should do this again sometime." he called. There was no answer; he peeked out of the kitchen and found his answer. Cas was leaned over Matteo, almost nose-to-nose, blowing raspberries and pulling all kinds of strange faces. Dean smiled, turned and wandered away to his room. There would be more time to talk later.

~**  ◇○◇  **~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you like the story so far, please leave a comment- I'd love to hear from you! :3


	9. Chapter 9

The day of Gabriel's visit started off pretty badly. With Sam studying for midterms, Dean stressing about the Demon Bug, and Matteo fussing from the moment he woke up, you could have cut the stress in that apartment with a knife. Castiel buzzed endlessly back and forth between soothing Matteo and worrying about Gabriel; Sam eventually holed himself up in his room with his laptop, textbooks, and a request to not be disturbed unless there was an emergency, or until Gabriel got there. Whichever came first. That left Castiel with only Dean to fret at, which left Dean with very little patience.

"C'mon man, quit tying yourself in knots. It isn't gonna be that bad." he said to Cas, who had begun tapping on the living room window sill. "What, are you afraid he's going to judge you or something?"

Cas snorted. "I **know** he's going to judge me. He wouldn't be my brother if he didn't." he looked at Dean over his shoulder. "I'm starting to think this was a bad idea."

"Well it's a little too late for that now; he's already on his way. But you'll be fine, Cas. You'll have me an' Sam here with you, and if your brother starts being a jerk, we can show him the door." Cas shrugged vaguely. "Would you please just relax, though? You're making **me** nervous." he patted the empty spot across from him at the table. "Sit down for a bit."

Cas sighed, made his way over to the table and sat down, but he still looked troubled. Dean alternated between working on his laptop and casting glances at him..

"What're you so scared of, anyway?" he asked eventually. "You said that you and Gabriel are pretty close, but you're acting like he's the Spanish Inquisition or something."

"My brother is a difficult person."

Dean shrugged. "So is Sam."

"Gabriel is different."

"Different how?"

"You'll see. Just...be careful what you say around him. And don't respond to his teasing, it will only encourage him. He will take every opportunity to get under your skin."

"Got it."

"I'm serious, Dean; Gabriel revels in tormenting people. When we were children, his nickname was 'Loki'."

"Alright, alright. Take it down a notch. I wasn't making fun of you."

Cas ran a hand through his hair. This made it look like a dark, wavy bird's nest had settled on his head. "I'm sorry. I just don't want you or Sam to think poorly of me because of this."

"Not a chance, dude." Dean smiled. Cas didn't seem to hear and just gazed pensively across the room. In his laundry hamper in the living room, Matteo sneezed mightily. The wall clock turned to 9:00 and at the same moment, the ancient clock-radio on the counter burst into life, blaring 'Heat of the Moment' at full volume. Startled, Matteo let out an ear-splitting scream. Dean sprang up and ran to silence the clock-radio, swearing as he went. "Son of a bitch- no no no no no stop, please stop..." he tried pressing several buttons and, when none of them worked, grabbed the power cord and wrenched it out of the wall. The thing crackled into silence. Matteo was still whimpering, even though Cas had scooped him up and was cradling him to his shoulder, making soothing noises. "Sorry." Dean whispered.

Sam came shuffling down the hallway and peered through the kitchen at the pair. "I can't leave you guys alone for five minutes. What happened?"

"YOUR radio just scared the hell out of us." Dean grabbed the now-dead machine and delivered it to his brother. Sam took it (with a dark look) and was turning around when the doorbell rang. All eyes turned to Cas. It rang again. Dean volunteered; when he opened the door, the man on the other side wasn't quite who he'd imagined. He would have expected someone who looked more like Cas- tall and kind of scrawny with dark hair -but this guy was neither tall nor scrawny. He was short, barely coming up to Dean's chin, and though he wasn't fat, he certainly had fewer sharp angles than his brother. His hair was wavy and honey-brown, his eyes were hazel, and he looked like mischief incarnate. And he was clearly sizing Dean up, too; shrewd eyes looked him up and down for a few seconds before he spoke.

"Dean Winchester, I presume?" his voice was reedy; quite a contrast to Cas' gravelly tones. Dean nodded. "Thank god." the guy huffed. "Finding this place was like a freaking scavenger hunt." he slid a bag off his shoulder. "I'm Gabriel, by the way, if you hadn't guessed. Can I come in?"

Dean was a little taken aback by this introduction, but he stepped aside. The guy strolled past him into the apartment, wafting the scent of candy behind him. Sam, having deposited the clock-radio in his room, was standing behind Dean; Gabriel paused to give him a long, appraising look. "So you're Sam, huh? You're even bigger in-person...but that's okay, I like my guys big." he waggled his eyebrows suggestively. Sam blushed, but by then Gabriel was moving on to the living room and loudly wondering where his brother was. Dean and Sam trailed after him.

Castiel was standing in the middle of the room. 'Terrified' isn't the word Dean would have associated with this situation, but that's just how Cas looked: frazzled and a little lost and just plain scared. Then Gabriel blew into the room, and his expression changed to something between relief and trepidation.

"Hey little bro!" Gabriel exclaimed. He descended upon his brother and pulled the poor man into a bone-crushing hug. Cas grunted a faint greeting. When he was finally released, he stood back and nervously straightened his T-shirt.

"It is good to see you again, Gabriel."

"Yeah, it's only been a million-and-one years. You sure haven't changed much- but I gotta say, Cassie, you chose yourself some cute roommates." Gabriel cast a sly look over his shoulder at Sam and Dean.

"Gabriel, please." Cas groaned.

"What?"

"Just don't. Not today."

"Alright, whatever." Gabriel rolled his eyes and went to get the bag he'd dropped by the door. "I brought you something." he unzipped the bag, rummaged around inside for a moment, and then pulled out a smallish gold-and-white striped box, which he handed to Cas. "Hopefully you've still got a sweet tooth. Or did you lose that along with your sense of humor?"

Cas made a soft 'tsk' as he took the box and unwrapped it. Inside was a variety of small, delicate-looking chocolates, each one nestled in a little faux-gold foil wrapper. A small smile crinkled the corners of his eyes. "Thank you, Gabriel, they're lovely." he met his brother's gaze. "You kept the shop open, then?"

"Oh, yeah. You should see it, we're doin' great! Actually, right now I'm working on this new recipe-" he was interrupted by a sharp whine from Matteo. This caught his attention at once. "Whose kid?"

Cas set the box on the kitchen table and gathered up his son from his laundry-hamper crib. He didn't say a word when he turned back to Gabriel, but he looked almost guilty. Gabriel stared at him. His cheeky smile was gone. "Oh. Who's-" suddenly he rounded on Sam and Dean with eyes blazing. "You son of a **bitch**." he hissed. "If one of you knocked up my little brother, I SWEAR I will-"

"Gabriel." Cas cut in. Gabriel whirled around. "Leave them alone."

"What, are you trying to protect them??"

"They haven't done anything." Cas' voice was calm and even. He was clearly used to outbursts like this one. "In fact, they have both been very kind to me."

Gabriel turned away from Sam and Dean and folded his arms, but there was still venom in his eyes. "So if the baby-daddy isn't Freckles or Gigantor here, then who is it?"

"A man from college. We dated briefly; he's long gone." 

Gabriel cast his eyes to the ceiling. "God, Cas. I can't believe you-" he gestured to the baby. "You know how much of a fit Mom would have if she knew?"

"That is why I'm not going to tell her." Cas sat down on the couch and lifted his shirt so Matteo could nurse. And nurse he did, with great gusto. Behind them, Dean had returned to his laptop (but was only half paying attention to it), and Sam was sitting at the other side of the table, watching Cas and Gabriel. Gabriel dragged a hand over his eyes.

"We've got a lot to talk about, Cassie."

-

"So let me get this straight: you've been living on the street for nine months?"

"Yes."

"For fuck's sake, Castiel! Why didn't you call me??"

"I was pregnant. I had no reason to believe you would accept me."

"That hurts. I'm your brother, Cas; whether or not I approve, I have to accept you if you need help."

Cas said nothing and instead turned his attention back to his son. Matteo was laying on his lap, alert and cheerful now that he'd been fed (and changed into a new onesie because he spat up on the previous one. This one was mint-green and read 'LEVEL 1 HUMAN' on the front. Dean had given it to him). He was gnawing on a flower-shaped toy and staring raptly up at his father's face. Cas smiled his smile, leaned down and blew a raspberry on the infant's belly, and Matteo squealed happily. Gabriel cracked a smile, too.

"Parenthood looks good on you, Cassie."

"Well, it was certainly not something I ever expected."

"Not to be indelicate, but, ah..." Gabriel coughed. "If you were homeless, what did you do when...y'know?"

"When I gave birth?" Cas said flatly. He was never good at tact.

"...Yeah. I mean, a hospital wouldn't really be an option."

"There was a recently-empty warehouse near the park, I took shelter there."

"Jeez, Cas. So, what, you just...took care of things yourself?"

"No. Dean was walking to his apartment, and he found me just before I delivered. Afterward, I told him about my...my situation, and he offered to let me stay here with him and his brother until I could get back on my feet. Which is why I-"

"A regular Knight in Shining Armor, huh, Dean-o?" Gabriel smirked at Dean. "I suppose I oughta thank you for taking my baby brother under your wing." for once, Dean didn't have a comeback; he smiled awkwardly and stared at his keyboard. "Awww. A little shy, are we?"

"- **which** is why I asked you here." Cas pressed on. Gabriel arched an eyebrow at him. "I can't stay with Dean and Sam forever. It wouldn't be fair to them, or to me and Matteo."

"And how exactly do I come into all this?"

"I lost most of what I had after I became pregnant- including my job. I am broke." he took a deep breath. "I'm not asking for much, just enough to help me get started. I would even be willing to take a part-time job in your confectionery, if you require extra help."

Gabriel stood up and began to pace. "I'm not a charity, Cassie."

"I am not expecting you to be. But you yourself said that you 'have to accept me if I need help'."

"...I kinda did, didn't I...look, Cas, I'd love to help, but I'm running a business. I hafta support myself, too. I dunno if I can do anything for you."

"Can't do anything, or won't?" Dean spoke up behind him. Gabriel turned a cold eye on him.

" **Can't** , for your information. I believe I was talking to my brother, not you." he turned back to Cas. "And I have to open the shop at noon, actually, so I need to hit the road. I'm sorry, Cas."

Cas' mouth was set in a thin line. "Will you at least think about it?"

"I'll think about it. But I can't promise you anything." Gabriel picked up his backpack, then clapped his brother on the shoulder. "Good to see you again, Cas. You're gonna be fine." he took one of Matteo's tiny hands in his own and gently shook it. "Nice to meet ya, kiddo...and I'll see **you** later." he added with a wink to Sam. And with that, he departed. Cas sat and just stared for several minutes after he'd gone; his face was drawn and somewhere between anger and disappointment.

"Cas? You okay, buddy?" Dean ventured.

Cas sighed. "That," he said bitterly, "is why I don't speak to my siblings."

~** ○◇○  **~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you like the story so far, please leave a comment- I'd love to hear from you!


	10. Chapter 10

Whatever faith Cas may have had in his brother was long gone. However many times he called Gabriel, the answer was always a firm 'maybe', which almost certainly meant 'no'. But he wasn't angry, not really. Just disappointed- and fiercely determined to be helpful to Dean and Sam. He did what he could, whenever he could, whether that meant folding laundry or helping with dinner or working with Sam to edit his papers. If nothing else, it kept him busy...and that was good, now that Dean wasn't around as much. What with the approaching deadline, the guy was working a lot of late nights. Cas missed him. Sure, Sam was nice, and easy to talk to, but Dean was Dean: he'd been the concrete, reliable presence Cas needed during his pregnancy and, currently, was the closest thing he had to a friend. Although Sam had started bringing home books (and the occasional DVD) for Cas from the library, and that was wonderful. It seemed like forever since he'd held a book in his hands, much less read it cover-to-cover. And on the rare occasions that Dean was home in the evening, he and Cas would watch one of the DVD's together. That was nice, too. But as his deadline got closer, Dean spent less time at home and more time at work, and he was exhausted in-between, so they barely saw him.

Then came a quiet afternoon in late September. Sam was hacking away at a research paper, Matteo was napping, and Cas had just started on a new book (Tales of Earthsea, by Ursula K. LeGuin). The trees outside were frosted with red and gold and orange, and every gust of wind threw up torrents of leaves...it was peaceful. Suddenly there was the familiar jangle of keys at the door and Dean burst into the apartment, grinning like he'd won the lottery.

"You're home early." Sam remarked without looking up from his laptop. Dean thumped a six-pack of beer down on the table. 

"You have a hero in your midst." he said proudly.

"Oh? Do tell." Sam was barely listening.

"As of one hour ago, the software is compiled, bug-free, and sucessfully delivered to our client. I am a free man." Dean grinned around the room. "I figured I'd get us something to celebrate." he added, gesturing to the six-pack. Sam finally looked up from his computer.

"Hey, congrats! What's Charlie doing to celebrate?"

"Going out with her girlfriend. I think."

Cas put down his book and meandered over to Dean and Sam. He couldn't concentrate with all the talking, anyway. Dean was leaning over a chair, telling his brother all about what he and Charlie had done to put the new software together; Cas stood beside him to listen.

"...so the whole time, it was actually a problem with the printf statement. As soon as we fixed that, it was great."

"Congratulations, Dean. That is quite an accomplishment." Cas said quietly. Dean turned to look at him, and there was something bright in his eyes that wasn't triumph or pride. But Cas didn't have time to think on it because the next moment, Dean was leaning toward him and pressing their lips together and Dean was kissing him and he hadn't expected it but it was nice- and then it was over, and Dean was looking at him from inches away with just a hint of a smile. His eyes were the most dazzling shade of green, Cas realized. Then those eyes widened and his smile vanished into a look of horror. Dean shrank back.

"Oh god, I'm sorry-" he gasped.

Sam was watching the whole scene with a look of only mild surprise. "Is there something going on here that I don't know about...?" he asked.

"No. No, there's...no." said Dean firmly. Cas didn't say anything; he wasn't even sure his voice would work. He didn't know how to feel about what had just happened...although 'pleasantly surprised' might be a good place to start. He didn't really want to say anything, actually. A kiss was nice, but for all he knew it was a one-time thing- and that was okay. Dean would likely blame it on high spirits and a good mood, and that was okay, too.

So he said nothing, and the celebration continued, albeit a little more awkwardly. Sam and Dean had their beer and Cas had sparkling cider. They sat around the table and talked and laughed; when Matteo woke up, they moved into the living room. The evening went on, and the kiss was mostly forgotten. But when they all went to their respective beds that night, there was a distinct and uncomfortable **something** in the air that kept Cas tossing and turning all night. All of a sudden, he knew exactly what he'd seen in Dean's eyes.

Dean loved him.

~**  ○◇○  **~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the short chapter; midterms are coming up. I promise the next one will be longer!
> 
> -
> 
> If you like the story so far, please leave a comment- I'd love to hear from you!


	11. Chapter 11

So Dean loved Castiel. That was pretty obvious; he hadn't exactly been subtle about announcing it. On the other hand, maybe Castiel was just oblivious. He'd been so preoccupied- first with his pregnancy and then with his newborn son -it was a wonder he could see past the end of his nose...or maybe he just didn't want to see. His last relationship had ended with him pregnant and homeless, so yeah, maybe he was more scared than oblivious. A kiss was nice, but what it implied was perhaps a bit overwhelming. He just couldn't stop thinking about Matteo's father. Not because he still loved the guy, because he certainly didn't, but memories of him were playing in his head like a goddamn stuck record. And one in particular played with distressing frequency: the day Cas announced his pregnancy. He was only two months along at the time and had just found out himself, and he was delighted. His boyfriend, not so much. That had been one hell of a shouting match. And then the guy had walked out, just like that, and Cas never saw him again. Good riddance, really. If he had to choose, he'd rather Matteo grew up knowing Dean as his dad...for all his eccentricities, Dean was a good man, and Cas **was** fond of him, in a general sort of way. But for one thing, he had a baby to take care of. And maybe some healing to do, too.

-

Cas wasn't the only one to sleep badly on the night of the kiss: Dean barely slept at all. He laid in bed and watched the clock tick the hours away and replayed that moment over and over in his head. But no matter how many times he remembered what it was like to finally kiss the guy he'd had a crush on for months, he still felt like an idiot. This isn't some stupid romantic comedy, Dean. This is real life. And in real life, you can't just kiss someone out-of-the-blue like that, no matter how much you like them! His first instinct was to go to his brother, get his advice, but he knew what Sam would say: "talk to Cas. This is between you and him, so talk to him if you're that worried."

Talk to Cas? He'd barely be able to look him in the eye.

-

"Hey Cas."

"Hello Dean."

They'd been avoiding each other for four days and Dean was sick of his brother's meaningful looks, so here he was. Talking to Castiel. With no idea what to say. It was like middle school all over again. Cas was kneeling beside his air mattress, trying to wrangle Matteo into a onesie; he glanced up.

"Were you attempting to start a conversation, or are you just going to stand there?"

"Yeah, I- can I talk to you?"

"I believe you already are." 

Thanks, Captain Obvious. "Listen, about the other day..."

"You are referring to the kiss...?"

"...Yeah. I'm sorry, Cas, I shouldn't have-"

"Why?"

"-huh?" caught off-guard, Dean's train of thought nearly swerved off the tracks.

"Why are you apologizing? You did nothing wrong; we were celebrating. And I certainly didn't object."

"Yeah, but you didn't exactly invite it, either. I shouldn't have forced that on you, I'm sorry."

Cas rolled his eyes, half-amused, half-exasperated. "You did not 'force' me, Dean. But I accept your apology, if it will make you feel better." Matteo was finally dressed; he stood up with the infant and held him against his shoulder, cooing softly to him. "All done. You look so handsome...!" Dean had never heard, or expected to hear, Cas talk like that to anyone. It was...well, adorable. He grinned. Cas looked up, returned the smile, then took one of Matteo's pudgy hands in his own and waved. "Say hi to Uncle Dean!" Matteo gurgled, and Dean found himself strangely thrilled at being called 'Uncle'.

"Anyway..." he cleared his throat, and Cas turned his attention away from Matteo. "I should've told you this beforehand, and I guess you know it now, but...I like you a lot, Cas." And if you keep smiling like that, he thought, I might have to kiss you again.

"I know." Cas said simply. "And I'm very flattered."

Dean groaned inwardly. 'Flattered'? People only say that before a rejection. "But...?"

"But a relationship is not, as you might say, 'in the cards' for me at present. Matteo is still very little; he is my first priority."

"I get it. I just thought you should know." Dean started backing toward the door; time to bow out as gracefully as possible. But Cas held up a hand to stop him.

"I did not say never, Dean." he pointed out. "I do like you, and I am glad we've gotten to know each other. But it isn't an option at the moment."

"Okay, so no boyfriend. That's fine." Dean held out his hand. "How 'bout just friends?"

"I can do that." Cas reached out, but Dean pulled his hand back.

"On one condition, though: you hafta let me an' Sam help you with the baby sometimes." when Cas didn't move, he inched closer. "C'mon man, you can't do **all** the work by yourself. Please?"

Cas hesitated just a moment longer. Then he shook Dean's hand. "Very well."

-

And so it began. They certainly weren't a couple, but you might say they were partners. Dean stepped in when needed to change Matteo or put him down for a nap or just take him off Cas' hands for a while. And with this increased freedom, Cas also went out more often- although he still too protective to leave Matteo for very long. He was uneasy, and perhaps with good reason: this was the first time he'd left Matteo with someone else, and it felt so alien to see another person taking care of his baby. But Dean was good with Matteo, so he tried to back off. Things were okay- awkward, but okay. Cas still kept Dean at arm's length most of the time. Sure, sometimes they would sit shoulder-to-shoulder on the couch while watching a movie, but that was as close as they got. Dean tried to tell himself that he was happy with this. In a way, he was- it was better than nothing, and Cas **was** warming up to him a little -but he couldn't help wondering if they would ever get past being friends. The guy was so private, so tightly buttoned-up, he wasn't even sure if the Cas he knew was the 'real' Cas. He left it alone, though, like he had when he realized Cas was homeless all those months ago. The ball was in Cas' court now, the next move was up to him.

And honestly, it was fun taking care of Matteo. He was the calmest, most cheerful kid Dean had ever met (not that he'd met very many babies, but y'know). He even took him to work one day. It was just for a little while, to drop off a USB drive for Garth, but the kid was a big hit. Even Charlie held him and talked to him for quite a while- or at least until he started chewing on her computer mouse. Then she remembered that she didn't really like kids and handed him back. It wasn't until his phone rang that he realized he hadn't left a note for Cas to explain where he'd gone...he wasn't really allowed near the kid for a few days after that.

But things were okay, in spite of all that. Matteo was still growing like a weed, Sam was still immersed in homework most of the time, and Dean was always kept busy at work. October slipped by before they knew it. Cas went out frequently- to the library, mostly -but only for an hour at a time before he reappeared laden with books...until one day he was late. A few days before Halloween, Cas went to return a book, a task which should only have taken fifteen minutes tops. But then thirty minutes passed, and then an hour, and he still hadn't come back. Matteo went from irritable to fussy to wailing and Dean could do nothing to calm him down until the door finally slammed at a quarter past 6:00. He looked up to see Cas walk in and kick a chair leg. Matteo had finally crashed and was asleep in the crook of Dean's arm; when Dean startled at the sound of the door, he woke up and began to cry all over again. Cas immediately looked up and gravitated toward the baby. Dean gladly handed him over. "What'd the chair ever do to you?"

Cas scowled and started to walk away.

"Wait a minute, what happened??"

"It doesn't matter."

"Yeah, I think it does, if you're so pissed off about it." Dean cut through the kitchen to block his route to the bedroom. "What happened?" he asked again.

"...I saw my brother." Cas sighed. "He says 'hello'," he added with a sneer, "to you and Sam." Dean didn't say anything, just waited for the inevitable other shoe to drop. "I tried to ask him about a position in his confectionery, and all he did was mock me. I don't know why I thought contacting him would be a good idea."

Dean hadn't thrown a punch since middle school. Right now, though, he couldn't think of anyone he'd rather give a black eye to than Gabriel. "What did he say?"

"Whatever he thought would anger me. He teased me for having Matteo, for living with you and Sam, for dropping out of college, everything."

"Jeez, your brother's a dick."

"You haven't met Balthazar." Cas scoffed. His thin smile turned into a hard, angry line. He made a show of adjusting the front of Matteo's onesie and Dean realized suddenly that there were tears in his eyes.

"Whoa, hey, don't do that." he held out his arms. "C'mere." maybe he was crossing the line, but it seemed like the right thing to do. And Cas went for it. He didn't look at Dean, but he shuffled forward and let himself be hugged, baby and all. Then they just stood there. Cas' forehead rested on Dean's shoulder, Dean's arms were loosely wrapped around him, and Matteo was still and quiet between them. They didn't move for several minutes, until the baby started to wiggle. Then Dean turned a little and whispered, "Hey. Do me a favor?"

"Hm."

"Next time you see Gabriel, hit him. Tell him it's from me."

Castiel chuckled low against his shoulder. "Perhaps I will. It might be more effective than speaking to him."

"I've done it to Sammy loads of times. Always gets the point across."

"And I thought you and Sam had a healthy relationship." Cas slipped out of Dean's arms and stood back. His eyes were still misty, but now he was smiling.

"Hey- made you laugh." Dean pointed out.

"Indeed. Thank you." Cas wiped his eyes with his free hand.

"Y'know, Cas, if he's being such a dick, maybe it's time to just cut your ties to him." Dean said as Cas walked away to sit on the couch.

"But he's my brother." Cas huffed. Matteo found his shirt collar and started chewing busily.

"So? If you ask me, that whole 'family obligation' thing is bullcrap. Gabriel's being a jerk, you don't owe him anything."

"No offense, Dean, but I can't do that as easily as you might think. Gabriel is the only one of my siblings with whom I am still in touch; I believe I do have an obligation to him."

That didn't make much sense to Dean, but he went with it anyway. "Fair enough." he plunked himself down next to Cas. "Hey, Charlie loaned me 'The Princess Bride'. Wanna watch it?"

"The what...?"

"Don't tell me you've never seen it??"

Cas shook his head, looking like he was about to be initiated into some awful ritual. Dean jumped up from the couch and hurried away. "Dude, you **have** to see it. It's pretty much a rite of passage." he came back with the disc and laughed at Cas' worried expression. "Don't worry, you'll like it. I promise. And it'll take your mind off your brother." he put the disc in the DVD player and sat down again. Cas moved to sit a little closer as it started, and neither one spoke for the rest of the movie- except for when Dean had to explain a few jokes.

~**  ○◇○  **~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you like the story so far, please leave a comment- I'd love to hear from you!


	12. Chapter 12

Thanksgiving: a time to be with family and appreciate what's important to you.

...Or, if you're a Novak, a time you learn to dread. Thank god they'd all left home; Castiel didn't think he could stand another holiday watching his brothers fight tooth-and-nail while his parents did nothing. If he had anything to say about it, this Thanksgiving would involve nothing more exciting than a quiet dinner, and Sam and Dean seemed to have the same idea. They couldn't afford to do a full Thanksgiving dinner, but that was fine; turkey sandwiches would be just as good as a roast turkey. They would also be upholding the Winchester family tradition of watching Gremlins (finally, a movie Cas had heard of- it was one of Balthazar's favorites). Or that **was** the plan, anyway...two days before Thanksgiving, they got a call from a gruff-sounding woman named Ellen, who invited them to a family get-together and threw a wrench into the whole thing. So much for a quiet dinner. It was only a small gathering, according to the brothers- a few members of their adopted family, and maybe a friend or three -but truth be told, Cas was a little nervous. A lot nervous, actually. The idea of once again being the odd one out was not appealing in the least. People would ask questions; people always asked questions. He could at least hope that his baby wouldn't be the topic of too many inquiries. At least Dean would be there with him...but isn't meeting the family supposed to happen **after** you're in a relationship?

-

Thanksgiving day came with very little fanfare. Dean, Sam, Castiel, Matteo, and a sizeable bowl of salad (Sam's idea) crowded into the elevator. As they rode down to the first floor, Cas barely moved; he was a bundle of nerves. Dean noticed. Or maybe he didn't, but either way he reached out and brushed his fingers against Cas' free hand. Almost unconsciously, Cas unfolded his own fingers against the touch and let Dean's hand slip into his own. It only lasted a moment until the elevator chimed and the doors slid open, and before he stepped out, Dean gave Cas' hand a squeeze. Cas found himself wondering if he was blushing. But that would be ridiculous (wouldn't it?). He didn't even like the guy- not in that way. Or at least not that much (did he?).

A battered old station wagon sat idling outside the apartment building. In the driver's seat was an older man who pretty much matched the car: scruffy and a little rough around the edges. He had a short but bushy beard and a baseball cap shading his eyes against the slanting afternoon light. The first thing he said (or growled, really) when Dean opened the passenger door was "Thought I told you idjits to be out here by 5:30."

"Good to see you too, Bobby." Sam smiled and climbed into the back seat with his salad. Cas sat on the other side once Matteo was strapped in between them in his baby carrier. It took them all a moment, when Dean had finished struggling with his seatbelt, to realize that Bobby was not-too-surreptitiously studying Cas in the rearview mirror.

"Oh. Uh, Bobby, this is Cas." said Dean.

"Interesting name."

"It's short for Castiel. I'm, ah...I'm a friend of Dean's."

"Mm." Bobby coaxed the old car into gear and rattled out of the parking lot onto the main street. That was the end of the introductions, apparently...hopefully the rest of the family would be this accepting. Building after gray building slid past the windows. Cas watched without really seeing them, and tried not to think too much.

-

Forty-five minutes and one roadside diaper change later, they arrived at their destination: a thoroughly average-looking house with a long gravel driveway. The station wagon ground to a halt with a sputter and a cough. Cas wondered if they'd be able to get it going again.

"Everybody out." said Bobby, and climbed out first. Cas hesitated; now that they were here, he didn't really want to go in. Sam unfolded his long legs and got out, shutting the door behind him with a BANG. Dean was about to follow him when he noticed Cas sitting motionless, staring out the window at the house.

"Cas? What's the matter?"

Cas startled a little as though he'd forgotten Dean was there. "I...your family..." he began.

"What about 'em?"

"I don't want them to think poorly of me. Or of you."

"What makes you think they would?"

"A strange man showing up uninvited to a family gathering- with a baby, no less -is bound to raise some suspicion. They may think the child is yours, or-"

"Hey." Dean interrupted. "At least give them a chance, okay? They'll like you, I promise."

"What if they ask?"

"Well, uh...we can just tell them we're together, I guess. Say Matteo is...from a previous relationship?" Dean offered. Cas frowned at him.

"I would rather not lie to your family before I have even met them." he said coolly.

"They aren't gonna know...!" Dean dragged a hand over his eyes. "Look, I'm sorry, if this makes you uncomfortable..."

"We could just tell them the truth."

Just then, the car door opened and Sam reappeared. "Hey, are you guys coming in or not?" he asked, cheerfully oblivious to their chilly stares.

"We will be there shortly, Sam. We were just...talking." said Cas. The door closed again and Sam's muffled footsteps crunched back to the house. Blue eyes and green eyes met for a moment.

"It's gonna be fine, Cas. Really." Dean opened the door and paused long enough to give his friend a lopsided smile. "C'mon."

And so, with Matteo snoozing in his carrier, Cas climbed out of the car and followed Dean up the driveway to the house.

-

The house smelled invitingly of pie, which of course caught Dean's attention right away. Thankfully, not too many people were there (certainly not as many as a Novak family gathering), but it still seemed like quite a lot once the introductions started. Ellen Harvelle turned out to be not quite as gruff as she had sounded; her daughter Jo was lovely, if somewhat quiet. Kevin Tran and his mother were both very nice, but odd in a way that Cas couldn't quite place. The unkempt young man named Chuck sort of defied explanation, as did Benny, a big hulk of a man with a Southern twang. And Charlie...well, with the stories Dean had told him, Cas recognized her from across the room. If those stories were true, though, he didn't have time to find out, because by then dinner was ready.

The meal was fairly simple, but it looked and smelled wonderful. There was the turkey, of course, and a plate of rather shapeless rolls, and Sam's salad had been wedged in between the bowls of stuffing and mashed potatoes. Everyone took a seat and, once their plates were filled, began eating with gusto. Only Cas was left staring awkwardly around. Should they have said grace? He leaned over to Dean and asked him; Dean laughed and shook his head. "Nah," he whispered back, "'s not a fancy dinner, Cas. Go ahead and eat."

"Very well." Cas shrugged. He still said a little prayer first, though. Just force of habit.

The rest of the meal was more or less uneventful. Conversations swirled and mixed around the table; Cas joined in when he thought it was expected of him, but on the whole he preferred to listen and learn. And learn he did. Sam and Dean's adopted family was a very interesting mix of people. Ellen and Jo owned a restaurant just outside of town; Kevin was a researcher of some kind, though he wouldn't say exactly what he researched; Benny made his living as a ranger, and Chuck was an author. The stories about Charlie were true, but maybe stretched a little, and Cas was quite happy to just listen as she and Dean bantered back and forth. It was nice to hear Dean laugh...from time to time he and Cas would make eye contact, and one or both would smile. Sam told them they were making everyone sick. Dean kicked him under the table.

-

After dinner, the guests dispersed through the house. Bobby, Ellen, and Mrs. Tran began cleaning up the remains of the meal; Ellen actually shooed Cas out of the kitchen when he offered to help ("You're the guest, Castiel, don't worry about it!"). So instead he picked up Matteo from his carrier and wandered around the house with the wiggly infant. This, of course, got him more attention than he would've liked. Why were babies such people-magnets? He was glad to have an excuse when Matteo eventually decided he was hungry; he slipped away to find a spare bedroom and some peace and quiet.

-

"What the hell was in that salad, Sammy?" Dean walked into the kitchen, where Sam was filling a glass at the sink. Sam turned around.

"Well, what do you usually put in a salad?"

"I don't."

Sam put on his bitchface. "Smartass. It's lettuce, cucumber, mint, quinoa, green onions-"

"Wait, wait. What the hell was that last one?"

"...Green onions?"

"Before that."

"Quinoa."

"What the fuck is that?"

"A kind of grain. It's good for you."

Now Dean made a face. "That's deceitful."

"If you don't like it, don't eat it! Or next time, make your own instead of complaining about mine."

"Hey!" Bobby's voice growled from the doorway. "If you boys are done bitchin' at each other, it's almost time to go. Dunno 'bout you, but I gotta work tomorrow."

"Be there in a minute." Sam muttered.

"Either a' you seen Castiel, by the way?"

The brothers exchanged glances. Come to think of it, neither one had seen him for quite a while...Dean put down the slice of pie he was holding. "I'll look for 'im."

-

"Castiel...? Cas?" Dean had gone through nearly every inch of the house. Almost no one had seen Cas, and those who had didn't know where he'd gone. To say he was worried was an understatement. Had Cas left? Why would he leave? Did something happen? Dean clomped up the stairs; he was running out of places to look. The bedroom- no. Bathroom- no. Guest bedroom- wait. The light was on. He cracked the door open and peeked inside, and let out a breath of relief.

There on the bed was Castiel, propped up on the pillows and out cold. Matteo was nestled against his chest, also out cold. Suddenly the day caught up to him all at once, all the travel and family and food and everything else, and all he wanted to do was curl up there with them. He was acutely aware of Cas' closeness, of how familiar he seemed, all loose limbs and slow, steady breathing. And before he knew it he was sliding the door shut again and kicking off his shoes, then climbing onto the bed to lay down beside Cas. He cautiously nestled his head into Cas' shoulder, right where his neck met his chest; Cas barely woke up or even moved, so he let himself relax.

A few minutes couldn't hurt.

~**  ☆☆☆  **~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Coming up to the last chapter pretty soon~
> 
> If you like the story so far, please leave a comment- I'd love to hear from you! :)


	13. Chapter 13

"...expect more snow today, heavy at times, with accumulation of up to-"

THWACK.

Sam stalked over to the TV and hit the power button so hard, the whole thing wobbled. **More** snow?! They'd already been stuck inside for a week. He hated snow, and he hated winter. Christmas was the only good part of the whole season, and that was still three days away. Cas stuck his head around the hall corner.

"Sam...?"

"I'm fine. Sorry." damn. The Winchester temper strikes again. Cas disappeared with a shrug. At the same moment, Dean's voice rang out from his room.

"Hey, who turned off the TV??"

"I did." Sam shouted back. "It's not like you were watching it."

"I was listening."

"It's just the weather. More snow on the way."

"Great, now turn it back on."

"What's the magic word?"

" **Now**."

Sam hit the power button again. That was as much civility as he could expect from Dean today.

"...most major roads are still shut down due to snowy and icy conditions, so today's the day to spend time at home with your family!"

Sam glared at the smiling reporter on-screen. You try living in a small apartment with Dean for a week straight, lady, and see how cheerful **you** feel. Happy Holidays, indeed. He turned and shuffled away to his room. He and Dean had been butting heads over stupid things all week; the less time they spent in close proximity, the better. Passing by Dean's room, he glanced inside. His brother and Cas were sitting side-by-side on the bed, and Dean was bouncing Matteo on his knee while Cas dozed. When were those two going to get their heads out of their asses and admit how much they liked each other? Knowing Dean, probably never. But maybe if he got some mistletoe...Sam flopped down on his own bed with a book and a wry laugh. No, Dean might never speak to him again if he did that (however appealing that might sound at the moment). Let them figure it out for themselves.

-

Christmas Eve finally came. Maybe it was the Christmas spirit or maybe Dean's patience finally ran out, but he had had enough of dealing with Sam the Grinch. He dug his old radio out from under the bed, tuned it to a holiday music station, and sang along at the top of his lungs while he wrapped his presents. Wasn't his fault that Sam had as much holiday cheer as a glass of water. Besides, they were still snowed in; the music would keep him from going crazy.

While Dean was wrapping presents and annoying Sam, Castiel and the baby had been holed up in their room all day. He was reading, presumably, but why close the door just to read? Every time Dean tried to go in, there was a lot of "just a moment" and "don't come in" and hurried clattering noises. Come to think of it, he'd been spending a lot of time alone since they got snowed in. Not that it wasn't tempting to just curl up and hide from the world- the snow was at four-and-a-half feet and still going strong -but what was he up to in there?

Cas finally emerged around 2:00 and went straight to the kitchen. Dean was still there, working on his laptop; Cas greeted him briefly and handed Matteo off to him before rummaging in the fridge for some lunch.

"Hey champ!" Dean said to Matteo. The four-month-old flashed him a gummy smile. Then, to Cas: "Missed you guys today." Cas responded with a glance and a preoccupied half-smile. "That must be a good book." Dean pried. This seemed to confuse Cas; he blinked a few times before answering.

"Yes, it...it is." that was odd. Usually Cas would have launched into a description of the story...something was definitely up. But just as he opened his mouth to question Cas further, Sam's phone interrupted him by nearly vibrating off the counter. Sam himself appeared and snatched it out of Dean's reach.

"Nice catch, Scrooge." Dean teased. Sam glared at him.

"Hello? Yes, this is Sam, who-" he began, then blushed red from forehead to chin. "It's for you, Cas." he held the phone out like it was something he'd found on the ground. Cas put down his peanut-butter-and-jelly-sandwich ingredients and took the phone from Sam.

"This is Castiel." he said gingerly. A muffled voice crowed at the other end of the line. His face fell. "Hello, Gabriel. Merry Christmas to you too...am I wh--that is none of your business. No, I am not! Did you call just to harass me, or...I see."

Sam and Dean watched with great interest as Cas paced around the kitchen, gesturing as though Gabriel was right in front of him. "...No, I would not...Gabriel, I said no. You- **listen to me** -you have given me no reason to trust...I don't care what he says. I believe the appropriate expression is 'go to hell'. Do not ever call me again." Cas hung up and let the phone drop onto the counter. For a moment he glared at it, breathing hard. Then his expression turned to horror. "I hung up on Gabriel." he breathed, as though it was a terrible crime. "I told him not to call me again..."

"We heard." Sam picked up his phone.

"What did he say?" asked Dean.

"He...he wished us a merry Christmas, and attempted to apologize."

"D'you think he meant it?"

Cas scoffed. "Not likely." he retrieved his knife and began spreading jam as though he wished the bread were Gabriel's face. Dean stood up and carried Matteo over to him.

"Hey." he said gently. "That was a good thing you just did. I'm proud of you."

Cas acknowledged this with a glance. Then he slapped the two sandwich halves together, put the knife in the sink and the jars in the fridge, and took Matteo back from Dean.

"I'm going to finish my book." he grumbled, and stormed away down the hall.

-

"Cas? Seriously, either you come out or I'm coming in."

Dean knocked a few times on his bedroom door. It was 7:00, and they'd seen neither hide nor hair of Cas since Gabriel called. Enough was enough.

"I would prefer to be alone, Dean."

"Is that why you locked the door?"

Silence.

"C'mon, dude. Your brother really bugs you, I get it. But you can't stay in there forever."

"...Please leave me alone, Dean."

Dean sighed. What the hell was going on? "Alright. Fine. Sam's gonna start dinner soon, so...yeah. See you then." He went back to the living room, sat down on the couch. Then he got up again and went to the window. In the corner beside it, their puny Christmas tree was doing its best to look jolly. He poked an ornament. It jingled. He turned his attention outside. The street was completely covered in a blanket of thick, cold fluff, with more being piled on by the hour. Whoever said snow was magical had clearly never experienced it in the city, because there was nothing remotely poetic or magical about the stuff. Cold was seeping in around the window frame; he shivered and headed back to the couch.

Suddenly there was a flash from outside, bright enough to briefly cast his shadow on the floor, followed by a dull BOOM. The flash seemed to take all surrounding light with it when it faded; the apartment was pitch-black. Dean tripped over something that may have been the tree- he thought he heard something shatter on the floor -then picked himself up and made for the hallway. Matteo was crying, and there was a steady stream of curses from the kitchen where Sam had been making dinner.

"Sammy, you okay?"

"Fine, fine- shit!" there was the sound of a bowl smashing on the floor, followed by more cursing. Dean was already moving down the hallway.

"Cas??" he hammered on the door.

"I am unhurt." came Cas' voice, formal as always, but clearly rattled. "What happened?"

"Power outage. I think a transformer blew out." Dean wiggled the doorknob. "Can you unlock the door?"

"I'm trying, I can't find it..."

A beam of light illuminated the door from behind Dean, making him jump. It was his brother, already on his phone. Trust Sam to go straight for the solution. He handed a flashlight to Dean and went back the way he came. The door handle rattled, then clicked, the door swung open, and then Cas ran headlong into Dean. Dean wrapped his arms around him for a moment. "Don't tell me you're scared of the dark?" he teased. Cas glared at him. "Kidding, kidding." he let go of Cas. "It's gonna get cold fast; you take Matteo out to the living room, I'll be right behind you." he waited until Cas had carried Matteo away down the hall to venture into their room. The blankets were stripped off his bed in short order, then Cas' bed...then his curiosity got the best of him. He had to find out what Cas was up to. Quietly, so as not to alert Sam or Cas, he searched around the bedroom. The air mattress, pillows, the bookshelf- all frustratingly normal. Maybe he was just reading, after all. But wait: the flashlight beam lit up something green poking out underneath the mattress...

"Dean? Need a hand out here." Sam called. Frustrated, Dean reluctantly gave up his search and lugged his armload of blankets out to the living room. In the dark he could just make out Sam struggling to unfold the hide-a-bed. Cas had found some candles and was bustling around lighting them; Matteo was in his baby carrier on the kitchen table. Dean dumped the blankets on the floor and went to help Sam.

"I called the landlord." Sam huffed as the sofa screeched open.

"And?"

"Whole building lost power. They're working on it, but it'll be a few hours at the least."

"Hm." Dean spread a sheet on the hide-a-bed. "Hell of a way to spend Christmas."

-

So that's how Sam, Dean, Castiel, and Matteo spent their Christmas Eve: on a hide-a-bed in their darkened apartment, huddled together to keep out the cold. Personal space was much less important than staying warm. That being said, it was still a little uncomfortable, mostly because of Sam's long legs (he and Dean were in a nearly constant tug-of-war with the blankets). Dean played games on his phone until the battery died, and then they all lapsed into silence for a while. The candles flickered. 

"So. Cas." Dean tried to fill the silence. "What's Christmas like in the Novak household?"

"Complicated." Cas answered. Dean could almost hear him rolling his eyes.

"Seems like your family could make almost anything complicated." said Sam.

"That is true." Cas pulled his blanket closer around his shoulders. "Christmas usually meant relatives, and slightly less arguing. We were all expected to be on our best behavior...of course, that didn't stop Gabriel from playing pranks if he thought he could get away with it."

"Like what?" 

Cas thought for a minute. "You are familiar with the cereal called "grape-nuts"?"

"...yeah, why?"

"The Christmas after Gabriel turned 13, he bought several boxes and spent the entire night hiding quantities of the cereal all over the house. Our parents were...less than amused. We found grape-nuts everywhere for weeks."

Sam snickered at this; Dean whacked him on the arm. "Ow! What?"

"I know you. Don't even try it, or you'll be the one picking 'em all up."

"Pfft. You're no fun."

Cas shivered. The apartment was getting cold. He nestled in close to Dean, who was so surprised that he stopped in mid-squabble. "It's cold." he said, by way of explanation. Dean nodded and put an arm around him. But only to keep him warm, of course. Sam looked at the two of them with something close to smugness.

Dean looked almost defiant. "What?"

"Nothing, nothing."

They lapsed into silence again; nobody felt much like talking anymore. Matteo, ensconced in his baby carrier and several layers of blankets in the middle of the hide-a-bed, gnawed on his hand; the wind whistled around the building; the streetlights outside cast a watery orange glow through the windows, and candles slowly burned down to nothing. It was actually pretty cozy if you left out the whole power outage thing.

Sam was the first to fall asleep. He curled up as much as his long legs would allow, mumbled goodnight, and began snoring soon after. Dean laid down too, and Cas- once Matteo had been fed and properly bundled up again -followed suit. For a while they just laid side-by-side. Cas thought Dean had fallen asleep, but suddenly he turned over and scooted a little closer.

"I probably should've said this before, Cas," he said, "but...I'm really glad things turned out the way they did. I mean, with you and Matteo and everything. Things would be pretty boring around here without you."

"And I would likely be living with Gabriel...I am very glad I got to know you. And your brother."

Dean murmured something he couldn't quite hear. Then he stretched like a cat and closed his eyes. Cas smiled.

"Merry Christmas, Dean."

~**  ☆☆☆  **~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you like the story so far, please leave a comment- I'd love to hear from you!


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: lots of fluff ahead!

Dean woke up very slowly the next morning. For a long time he just laid there, eyes closed, in that comfortable place between asleep and awake. He'd almost forgotten what it felt like, waking up with someone spooned against him. It was nice...at least, until he remembered who that someone was. Then the warm, sleepy feeling disappeared in a hurry. He tried to quickly un-spoon himself, but too late- Cas stirred and turned over. A bleary face looked back at him.

"G'morning, Dean." Cas didn't seem at all bothered by Dean's closeness, or his arms around him. In fact, he looked almost content.

"Hey."

Cas was relaxed and drowsy against him, and Dean didn't want to move. It felt right. Then Sam's voice came from behind them. "Morning, lovebirds."

Dammit.

"Morning, Sammy."

There were purposeful noises from the kitchen. So much for going back to sleep; Dean reluctantly sat up. "When did the power come back...?"

"Dunno, sometime last night." Sam sat down at the table, smiling at them. "Merry Christmas, by the way."

Oh yeah. It was Christmas, wasn't it. "You too." Dean said drowsily. Next to him, Cas was sitting up and taking a sleepy Matteo out of his carrier. Dean turned to smile at the baby.

"Hey, champ!" he sniffed. "Woah. You stink, kiddo." 

Cas wrinkled his nose. "Hm." he got up, holding Matteo away from him, and hurried to the bedroom. As soon as he was out of earshot, Dean turned to his brother. Sam was still smiling.

"You be quiet."

"Not a word." said Sam, the picture of innocence. "Are you gonna give him the thing?"

"Yeah."

"Nervous?"

"No. Why would I be nervous? It's not like I'm proposing to 'im." his face betrayed him, though, if Sam's was any indication. He stood up. "Got you something too, nosy." he said as he brushed past the table. "It's under the tree." Sam made an affirmative noise, but said nothing.

By the time Dean had found a granola bar and returned to the hide-a-bed, Cas was back from the bedroom with Matteo. He still looked groggy, and he was carefully hiding something in the pocket of his hoodie. Dean sat down next to him. "Hey sleepyhead." he said, with a playful nudge to the shoulder. Cas smiled. Across the room, Sam was retrieving his gift from the tree.

"Lemme guess: socks?" he shook the package.

"Ha, ha. Why don't you open it, smartass." Dean turned to Cas. "I, uh...there's something for you, too." he said, over the sound of ripping paper. An eyebrow arched. "Just a sec."

Dean came out of the kitchen with a plain white envelope. He handed it to Cas. All of a sudden his heart was racing; he tried to ignore it. He was vaguely aware that Sam had paused in unwrapping his present (Star Wars movies, the full set) to watch. The envelope's contents were pulled out and examined; blue eyes looked up at him.

"Dean, what is-?"

"'S the contract. For the apartment." a chubby baby hand grabbed at Dean's shirt. He hoisted Matteo onto his lap. "Your name's in with mine an' Sam's now. It's official."

A stunned silence. Cas looked from Dean to Sam and back, seemingly at a loss for words. "'Cause...we're pretty much a family now, right?" Dean continued. "I mean, we'll have to get a bigger apartment once Matteo gets a little older, but y'know..." he trailed off.

"Thank you." said Cas in a small voice. "Thank you, Dean." for a long time he stared at the document. When he finally folded it back into its envelope, Dean noticed, his hands were shaking a little. "I have something for you as well," he said haltingly. Then he pulled the mystery object from his pocket. It was emerald green, soft, and shapeless, and Dean realized that it was the thing he'd seen under the air mattress. Then Cas unfolded it, and it revealed itself to be a sweater. There was still a knitting needle embedded in it and one shoulder was unfinished, but it was a sweater nonetheless. Cas extracted the needle and held the sweater out to Dean. "Merry Christmas, Dean."

There were lots of things Dean could have said, namely 'thank you', but what came out of his mouth was "Since when do you knit??"

Goddammit.

"Since always." Cas smiled. "Last month, Sam loaned me the money for needles and yarn; I was unable to finish it because of the power outage, but...I hope it is sufficient."

"Sufficient? It's awesome!" Dean turned the sweater over in his hands. Who knew Cas could knit? More than that, he was good at it: the sweater was beautiful. "Thanks, dude." he gave Cas' hand a friendly squeeze and returned his attention to the sweater. It took him a minute to notice the silence around him, he was so absorbed in the gift.

Cas appeared to be collecting his thoughts. "I wanted to thank you." he said at length. "For everything. I doubt that I...that we would have made it without your help this past year. And yours as well, Sam." he nodded over his shoulder. "You helped me find my brother, for better or worse. Thank you both." Cas turned back to Dean. There was a sparkle in his eyes that Dean hadn't seen since the night Matteo was born, and something else that he couldn't identify...

And then it happened. No fanfare or even a warning, just Cas. Kissing him. Actually kissing him. And it felt...well, it felt pretty damn great. Like something that should have happened a long time ago.

The kiss only ended when they had to come up for air; it was like a scene from one of those cheesy movies Dean had always hated. Except that this was real, somehow, and he must've done something good to deserve it because Cas was gorgeous, with his hair that was always tousled no matter what he did to it and those big ridiculous blue eyes and he was saying something but it barely even registered-

"What...?" Dean must have looked like he was hit between the eyes. Cas just smiled.

"I love you." he said quietly. And just like that, Dean forgot how to breathe. Was this really happening? A pinch to his arm told him that yes, it was, but still. Holy shit. 'Why' would be his first question...but what he said instead was "I love you too." Because, now that he thought about it, it was true. He'd been in love with Cas for a long time. Probably since that day in the park. Knowing that Cas loved him too just about made his heart stop. And Sam (who, he noticed, was now conspicuously missing from the room) would tease him 'till the day he died if he heard any of this.

But what did he care? It was Christmas, and he was in love. As far as he was concerned, nothing else mattered.

 

~**  ★☆★**~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...and thus ends the longest fic I've ever written. Merry Christmas, and many thanks to those of you who stuck around; I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it!
> 
> (As always, please leave a comment if you liked the story- I'd love to hear from you!)


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